Don become a mistress

Keeping a mistress is good. Being a mistress is bad.

(Like i know @@ Like i've become a mistress...muahahaaha)

A mistress is a fair-weather friend! As long as you are sweet, loving, he will be here for you. But as long as you are not, he walk right outside, slam the door wihtout even saying GOODBYE~

If you are a wife, even when you have nothing to give, when you needed him the most, he will go over you, lend you a shoulder and give you a big one hug!

When you are a mistress, as long as you are happy and nice, he loved back. When you are unhappy or upset, he would feel blamed and then argue and distance himself.

A man gives mistress conditional love. Husband gives unconditional love.

If you want to test whether your boyfriend treat you as a mistress or wife, see what he does when you are in painful or difficult times. If, now, he is your bf, he already treat you as a mistress, then you can walk right outside, slam the door and say BYEBYE to him(for goodness sake, we women are better, at least we say byebye)!

IF you say its okay being a mistress, i don't stop you. Maybe 1 day, you will realised why wife is much more compared to mistress around the globe!

Message is : Don't let your boyfriend treat you as a mistress!

Updates

28th Dec - Going up KL ( Staying at Seri Kembangan )
29th Dec - move house, night - velocity KL
30th Dec - no plan yet. Shopping maybe~
31st Dec - Hope to go genting, but nobody bring me...
1st Dec - Sleep at home
2nd Dec - Join my coll mates at Sg long
3rd Dec - Sem 1 kick off a good start!

I had been busying lately. I don't really know what am I busying with. I only know that i ate like nobody business. Fat like this is the fattest I've grew throughout my life!

I'll miss my heater and shower, my Queen size spring mattress, AIR COND, princess life ( no need wash clothes, dishes, find food, have car to drive )

AWWWWWWW...

Abit sad huh?

Never mind, i think i miss my friends :)

ANd the freedom!

SHOPPING ALSO!

heheheee

life is not that bad afterall yeah?

Oh ya, who will be going to velocity KL? Is a music fest, let me know. I need a group of friends to let me join. hehee

In the middle of the road

If you cannot take it, go find for an answer. Is better to kill yourself in the end and let yourself die, than suffering in the middle of the road, letting the car to knock you everytime they passes by; dying slowly.

Rather than you missing someone miserably there alone, let her know, go for everything you can do to gain her back. At least in the end, you know the outcome. 50 years later, you won't be thinking, "if i did this or that, will the result be this and that" "will we be happily ever after..."

Make your life no regrets. If you can't let go, then face the fate bravely and see whether you can overwin fate. Find for an answer.

There is nothing as in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos. The truth is that the most dangerous place to be is in the middle of the road. Many people don't know what they want, but they are very sure that they don't have it! Decide to do something now to make your life better. The choice is yours.

Decide then do it, don't think. If you think you want to do something, you only do it when it is convenient(no obstacle). When you are decisive, you accept no excuses, only result!

"Not what we have, but what we use, Not what we see, but what we choose."

CHEERS!

Merry Christmas!

Change--> Changing--> Changed

This is a cycle. THings kept changing. Before we realises, another change have changed. I was talking with my mum on the car, regarding the heavy rain. Mum was saying, this is the ever 1st time rain strike so heavily and earlier than expected. 2 words caught me. "1st time" and "expected".

If there is no 1st time, will there be 2nd time and forth? Today, is there anything that we can expect?

Today, your boyfriend may be telling you, "I love you forever". Your best friend may tell you, "No matter what happened, how bad we quarreled, I'll help you whenever you need" Your friend may tell you, " i like you so much that I doubt we will even quarrel".

Is there anything as absolute?

I told my mum, "1st time?? hahaha maybe 10 years later, M'sia will have snow too!

Mum said, "impossible"

Caught!

Impossible???? Is there anything as IMPOSSIBLE?

Give it 100 years back, you think our fellow ancestors believe just a square box can communicate with people thousand miles away? then get reply instantly? You think our ancestor believe a small case can capture and print out the image we saw? What will they think if they saw another clone of them standing right in front of their eyes?

(okay~ i know my proof are not strong enough...PLease~~ for the sake of I've already tried very hard to porve nothing is impossible, let me convince you, believe me...)

To be a great winner is to be a survivor. Adapt to change. Take as it comes. Live life cool.

(my 6 years old, felisza's phrase; "cool man!" haha)

Just remember, always darkest before dawn. Sunshine after rain. No matter what, life goes on...so, if you can choose to be happy or sad, why choose to frown?

;)


P/s : My house will be holding a bbq party on christmas eve. Everyone is invited!

FLood~~

Its CHRISTMAS!!! Even East Asia can feel the winter now...

Give 10 years? Maybe Malaysia will have snow too!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Batu Pahat still not in a bad situation YET. Compared to the whole Kota Tinggi is gone, 6 lives killed; 4 in Segamat, 2 in Kluang, with no power supplies...poor thing~

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2006/12/22/nation/16396112&sec=nation&focus=1

Just now when i was driving around, Batu Pahat river cannot take anymore water~~~ Places around that area already reach half the metre high. So scary to drive with the woods all down the road...and water just below your leg... BUt say, continue rain for another 2 days? my house will flood also~~~ @@ which never before happen. hehehee I was joking with my mum, " maa, if our house flood, we still can run to 3jie's house" Coz 3rd sis house is up the hill.

Muaaahhahahaa

Im so glad that im still alive and kicking...ehhehe Still sitting down here, with laptop infront of me, wireless provided, food and comfy bed around!

Still manage to get out of the house, watched movie and hang around with friends...


My best best buddies in secondary school...


Still manage to make bras~~


Showing off their art work~


The titanic Ice Cream (8 scoops) Everyone like ghosts come out from 7th month.


And...the mixing part~~hehee


And everyone :):)

A special relationship

***
My nephew says,
Zienal : Ah yi, your leg very thin.
Me : yameh? lao kou (address to my mum) says, ah yi de leg very fat.
Zienal : no ar...i think your leg is long and thin.
Me : Next time you see lao kou, you tell her, ah yi de leg very thin ok?
Zienal : hehehe..Ah yi, last time horr...you are thinner, now you fatter liao.
Me : heheheee
Zienal : Ah yi, last time you pretty you know....now you very cute liao.
Me : uh?
Zienal : last time is pretty...now is cute
Me :OOOoooOOO (does she mean im fat now...thats why from pretty become cute?~~ @@ !!!)

You see...even when a kid wants to tell you, you are fat..she says it in a nice way...

***


I want to share something very precious that I just learned, to everyone.

You may not believe me. Everyone may be telling you. You may have heard this a thousand billions times. But you don't believe it. Just like I once do. Until you feel it so many times, you were still doubting whether you believe them..OR not!

My sister once told me when I were to ask a cousin for help. I was quite reluctant to beg my relative for help because all the while in my mind, I always always dislike asking anyone of my family for help. I would rather ask my friends for help if im given a choice. She came out with a word suddenly that shake my heart and brain..., "can ask relative help, why want to ask friend help".

My brother in law and me straight away say,"nolor...i rather beg friends than beg relatives"

To me, at THAT time, to ask people for help is a favour from them. Friends dare to reject. But relative no(i think). So, adding a gram of dissatisfaction from friends (just in case) is better and easier than adding a gram of dissatisfaction from relatives. Because afterall, friends are friends. Turn face, we are no longer friends. Relatives are relatives. Turn face, we are STILL relatives. :)

One very important thing that i just understand now is, since relatives is a kind of special relationship that forever and ever cannot be washed away by time, why not we see this as an advantage than disadvantage?

A special relationship is like a mother and daughter. How bad is the fued is/are....the anger, hatred, whatever.... 1 day, the forgiveness will be given. The relationship will always ever be...SPECIAL. :)

Time can wash away everything. Just not any special relationship between human and human. How amazing is this?

COnclusion?

Carry on scolding, yelling, shouting, rebelling to your families....cause one very day, they will forgive you and forget it. MuaaahhahaHHAHAHAHahahha

Being a kid...

My nephews from S'pore just came back for holidays. Once, we called them babies. I told my sister when she annouced they were back just now, "lets go visit those babies".... And now, it was like yesterday, they were still babies. 3 of them, 10 years old, 8 years old and 7 years old now. :)

They were so happy when we reached there for a short visit. Im so surprised that after a year(or more) they didn't see me, they still remembered, im their "xiao ah yi" ( small aunt )

Seeing them, I have so many thoughts that cannot be describe. Im puzzled seeing them laughing and being so happy with little actions from their siblings. I can't help but feeling happy listening to their stupid question, laughing to their innocent happiness. Hiding here and there can make them SOOO happy. You tell them stories of believes, they ask you so many logical question to make you doubt your stories. And worse is...you can't scold them or whatever...because their questions are reasonable. Most importantly, you remember they are adorable kids. All you can do, is laugh with them.

Why human can't be so naive and pure after grew up? Truly smile only with our heart? How long haven't a human take off their mask and show our true identity?

Can I be naive like kids and have everyone don't hurt me just like they do?

I've like no childhood life since i were little. Can't remember any. I don't have a barbie dolls or a teddy bear. All I can remember was me crying not to go for kindergarten, then got beaten by my dad badly. All I can remember was me crying for my mum to bring me to her shop, not lefting me alone with the maid feeding me porridge. All I can remember was mum holding a sugar cane forcing me to eat, while I was crying not eating.

Awwww...

I didn't want to make this post sounds bitter.

Can I be so adorable to make everyone likes me like my nephews do?

heheee ;)

(only hippo will treat me as adorable as him...*wink)

You are good or bad

Today when the movie i was watching asked...

"...Ask yourself...are you a good person or a bad person"

There!

Is that everything JUST a good and a bad can be defined in a person? Definately no.

But, in your own dictionary of good and bad, how do you classify yourself?

Answer yourself HONESTLY. To admit either you are good or bad, isn't an easy job.

Because...we have to be responsible only to our own self.

Afterall, we are matured enough to clearly define what is good and what is bad. Have we fulfill all requirements of good OR bad? We know the requirements. Of course we knew.

But, do we do it?
Are we?
Were we?
....
.....
....


Now, I know.. life isn't as simple as good OR bad. It is unfair to judge with only these 2 words. Its unfair. HOWEVERRRRRR good a person is.....there is a bad side of him. AND of course...HOWEVERRRRRR bad a person is....there is a good side of him. So how can we judge?

If I repeat my question and say...

"ASK YOURSELF, are you a good person or a bad person"

"ASK YOURSELF"

I said...we can define good or bad distinctly. So, YOU are the only one who knows what you had done. Your intention, your motives, your purpose, your reason, your thinking, your mindset. The whole picture, you see yourself.

(im biting my lips) ***thinking*** (typing you this...)

It is certainly unfair for stranger (people except yourself) to judge whether you are good or bad. It is certainly, 100% FAIR for you, yourself, who saw the whole big picture, to judge, whether you are good or bad.

**FULL STOP**

Add up all the goods...minus all the bads...
Times all the vegetables...divide all the meats...

Answer this question.

(It is not easy to answer this question HONESTLY AND SERIOUSLY to yourself. I salute those people who dare to answer. It is not easy to admit because we really really really know what is good and bad. )

:)

***My request, read back slowly and think!***

Fried rice

Cooking a good fried rice is easy...SEEMS!

Cook the rice, boil the oil, fry the garlic, carrot and mushroom, then, add the rice and chili padi. Mix with soy souce to the rice. And add all the additional ingredients you want to add. Like vege, hotdog, or any others like.

THats it. Easy?

Frying a rice is simple.

But when to add those ingredient? When the fire should turn biger or smaller....

If timing and heat is not well handled...the rice will turn overcooked. Once it is overcooked, nobody will eat your rice. AND you will have to throw it away.

Certain people may think it will be a waste if we are to throw it away. They ate it. But the taste of overcooked will be there and you can't help feeling uneasy about the bad taste.

I cook fried rice for my family today... :)

Same things go to managing people in life.

Colorgenics

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

Browsing through my friend's blog and i found this...interesting!

My profile...

You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.It's the time of year that you are apt to become extremely restless and emotionally withdrawn. This is preventing you from becoming deeply involved with a person or persons within your sphere of influence. If you are willing to 'let go' and release your inhibitions you will find that a great deal of physical satisfaction will result, far more than perhaps you even believed you were capable of.

The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.

You feel utterly wretched - worn out. The demands that other people have been making on you have depleted your strength and stamina. You feel powerless to try to remedy the situation on your own and you are looking for what is hopefully known as 'divine intervention'. But be assured your salvation lies in yourself - you have the ability so use it.

Try 2nd time...

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life.

Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans:You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You are a perfectionist in everything that you put your hand to. You are demanding and very exacting in the standards you apply to your choice of colleagues and friends -perhaps you demand too much from people. That perfection you seek in a particular person is illusive - perhaps it does not even exist. The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail.

You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.

Both have their points that i think is right...

Says who I can't bake a cake?

Do it like a pro! From today onwards, i can proudly shout at people

"I KNOW HOW TO BAKE CAKE OKAY?"

Come on laa...all anybody needs, is a recipe book!!! GOSH, WHAT SO DIFFICULT TO BAKE A CAKE???? DUUHHH~~~

Bake cake~~

LIKE THAT ONLY MAARR... CEHHH...SO EASY~~

THe recipe said...beat until its creamy...How creamy is creamy?


I hate to do this the most! THe flour keep spilling all over...and it takes freaking a long to do it 3 times!


Eee....use hand 1, YUCKS...My hand so butter-ish~~

bEFORE~

TAAAAAAADDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......

Ladies and gentlemen, my Family Nestum Cake....

***I never know cake is so fattening until i make it. YOu know, this cake consist of 20% sugar, 30% butter, 15% flour, 15% nestum, 20% egg. Please love you health and don't ask me bake cake okay? --->>this is for ROn...muaaahahahahhhahahahaha

Fight!

To win something, understand them.

Assume you are your opponent. Put yourself in their shoes. Understand their situation. And think what will you do, if you are the opponent. Then, knowing what your opponent will do, fight them there.

Being a great winner is being unpredictable. If your opponent assume you wrongly, meaning he can't understand you, its hard for them to count your next move. And therefore, they can't easily win over you.

Everywhere, in business, friendship, relationship, war, family, everywhere...

Is about winning or losing. I don't believe there is any win-win solution. Surely, either side must sacrifice a little bit for another to create a "win-win" which is a little bit lose and a little bit win solution.

I had always love to talk with people. Through communicating, I get to understand more people. The way every kind of people use their brain to think. FOr me, its interesting to understand people and fight them, then win of course when im given a chance to.

This makes A type of friends think, "why you mix with nerdys?"
B type of friends think, "why you mix with ah bengs?"
C type think "why you mix with smarty?"
D think "why you mix with night owl?"

Some are as bad as gangsters...some are as good as "mummy's baby".

It makes me see different part of the world. Different types of lifestyle. Different forced to make them so. Also, i see that stepping on different types of shoes, there is a reason for it. GOod or bad.

"If you can't win them, join them" Quoted from 1 of my commenter. This is the sly-est way.

A few photos...

Cam Whoring..

Actually it was supposed to be at Kicthen 21, too bad its closed. So we went to Country Home Taste.

THe loveliest couple...as ever...

HEhee...

We went Mariyam after secret recipe chase us out. Nolaa~ their waiters were friendly.

Amazingly...we talked to our secondary teacher until 12.30++ am rite...

Fact vs Believe

When fact vs believe, who will win?

believe : To accept as true or real.
fact : Knowledge or information based on real occurrences.

TO me, believe wins EVERYTHING.

See! Human have not a single prove, the existing of god. YET, we can end our life, sacrificing for god (last time). Now, people spend thousands a year buying joss stick, paper money. People pray up to 5 times a day believing god will hear them. THe feng shui, the taboo in forest, the ghost, the traditional medicine...

WHat is all these? BELIEVE!

FACT is, there is still no hard prove to show that all these thing exist. But (life always full of but), we believe them.

Believe can be a motivation...ALSO, it can ruin a person's life.

I always always believe things people don't. It motivates me, and people around me. Regarding this, I've done things people think impossible. My achievements? One of the example.. making up a camp in 2 days, including finding participants, renting place to stay, planning activities, food and permission from headmistress with letters, etc etc (Interact Club at the age of 17)...BUT (again), at the same time, my believes discourage me. I believe in "there is a will there is a way"

BUT(again) when there is no way...because sometimes facts are facts. Example, you cannot marry your father. So, when things couldn't turn out like i wanted it to be...I can't sleep, I don't know what to do. I don't want to surrender. I know, fact is there. But my believe take over. So Im lost.

Life is about enjoying the journey. We said this when we win. BUT (again) WHen we lose, hahah, we say, why must it happen?


Life is full of BUT. BEcause life considered many direction point of view. Every 1 degree cannot be regarded as incorrect.

Indeed?

Im happy but sad.
Im strong but weak.
Im laughing but crying.
Im glad but dismay.
Im energized but tired.
Im positive but negative.
Im rational but emotional.
Im love but hate.
Im brave but afraid.
Im winning but losing.

haha

Thus, those feeling are what I am feeling. Which one do you BELIEVE?

Cons of blogging

Did i sound myself too arrogant, over confident in my blog?

Recently, the impact came...

People sending me warning messages...friend closer than same blood sister started to dislike me...even people deleted me as their friendster friend.

I spend quite sometime to digest all these happening. I knew deep inside, all these wasn't an emotional act by them. It wasn't as simple. I knew it can be simple if i take it as "THOSE CHILDISH PEOPLE" like I always did. LIke what i will usually do.

No, not this time. It is all too funny to be coincidence. I shall sit back, and think what I had done. What i had written. Perhaps all those were plainly an accident. But im not taking things as so this time.

If you notice, i haven't been blogging as frequent. I was holding back, afraid of writing the wrong things. A part of me were telling myself that, who cares? this is your blog, I am writing about my life... and i don't have to give a damn about people condeming me.

But still, inside, who don't want things to be perfect? Who don't want to be liked by everybody?

Im going to do some soul seaching about this...

Am i taking this emotional?

The point is...these people that did the small action are people so closed to me. I can't help but care what they think about me.

Thank you for giving me a feedback, positive or negative. Appreaciated.

Understand this!

Looking at the fishes in the pond
we saw the fishes swimming in the water freely
clearly in our eyes, without water, they will die
but living is like fish in the water
we do not sense the existence of air
like us living in the water without realising.

UN secure NESS

Its hard to interpret our feeling you know...sometimes, not sometimes, should be most of the time...we felt something but we don't know. For me it happens...

There is a feeling I realised that i felt most of the time. But i didn't know. I'll start to do weird things, normally i will call it as crazy things. And at that time, i will start to think im crazy. BEcause i don't do things at my will. Im unhappy for no reason and wanted everyone to ignore me. When people ignore, i felt empty. WHen people call, i felt annoying...and i will say things that THAT person doens't want to hear. All sort of hurting words...

But lucky that i realised what is it. Now i know.




Im afraid, very little inside, im scared, im lost, im empy, im feeling dangerous...So, i build up a wall, and start protecting myself in my own way.




:)

This explain, why last time I told Ron, that i won't love anyone so that no one can hurt me. :)

http://cheryl123.blogspot.com/2006/10/im-crazy.html

UNSECURE!

Since tiny, i had this feeling of unsecureness. HAH, since small, i cried like nobody business. I forced my mum to say "i love u" after she beats me or scolded me. If she don't say...i will keep repeat

" I DON CARE, YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"I DON CARE, YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"I DON CARE YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

UNTILLLLL

she said it. Never failed!

I can repeat the same sentence non stop for 1 hour +
(my family still keep repeating abt this...laugh at me)

Another weird things i do when i was small...

I don't go to kindergarten at 1st. I will cry when my mum leave. CRY the whole school upside down. THen, in the end...my mum got no way with me so, she brought me back along. hahaa

If unluckily, my dad found out, i will got beaten again~ POOR ME!

Am so happy to understand myself more.

Thats why people....

leave a comment, and tell me, you love me. :) thanks!

If not, i will start saying

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

KL @ Part 2 & 3

THe thing that we cannot missed....CLUBBING!!!!


WEnt to Maison last Saturday...

Darius looks like he wants to kiss me rite? hahaa~~ He asked me to get my ass off and let him sit actually~~

And i met other friends there unexpectedly... but didn't take picture...thanks to the 2nd round, upstair~ i got quite sober for that!....Flaming lamborgini was nice though...thank you..if you guys read!

After clubbing...

From left : Kengwei & gf(Li Sze), CHeryl, Winnie, Wendy, Nabila, Darius, Kanglok @ gf (Jye Chi)

Went to mamak and eat later...Nabila who didn't touch the alcohol got drunk herself with us...i was like asking her in the car(on the way to BRJ) "ehh...u not scared wan huh? sitting in a car with a bunch of drunk people and drunk driver~~"

That girl, cooly said "why scared? i always hang around with drunk people"

And she follows us shouting with the window wind down~~ @@

It was a fun night at Maison, music nice, environment nice, people nice, DJ nice...met friends unexpected also nice.

**********************************************************

WENDY WAS ROBBED AFTER THAT! (Part 3)

It was like this, WEndy's bf got really really worried (i guess) and insist to find Wendy at UM even though he lives at Klang and even though its already 4 sth in the morning.

Then, when he reached...guess its 5 something...they wanted to pump petrol for the car. Unluckily the petrol station was closed so they stop the car at the roadside...QUARRELING cum DISCUSSING about either sending wendy back to UM n he goes back OR they go pump oil then eat breakfast...

A few minutes then, 2 bikes with 3 person came over...1 bike park behind of the car, 1 park infront...

And that 3 guys said they are police...Wendy thought it was a prank...coz they were wearing clothes-not-police-look AT ALL!

So wendy's bf asked him to show Police ID...

And he sensed not right, then he intend to start his car engine, knock the bike and chao!

But that guy used his helmet and break the car window, tried to grab the key!

Wendy's bf was great! I meant it. I donno how, but he used his leg, kick that guy thru the window...GREAT ISN'T IT? (i seriously donno how his leg can kick so high~~)

THEN!

That guy used a spana to hit his head...

and they got scared...so gave him money n hp..

I was sleeping at the time...

they drove themselff to hospital in UM...

And wendy called...imagine i was SOOO FREAKING tired...i donno what she is talking

until...she told me her bf was hit by a spana in the head...and she asked me go UM hospital. Thats all the thing i can't remember after she hang off...coz i wasn't awake!

I wake Darius up! But he don wan to go...coz he donno wat happened i guess~

THen, i can't sleep...i was so worried..but im helpless...(i have no transport to go there), and i can't contact them(didn't know wendy's hp lost that time)

Luckily wendy called for the 2nd time. I was totally awake already...and asked her exactly what happened...

She said, she got no hp, and can't remember any number except mine.

By this time, I tell myself...i must forced Darius to bring me no matter what...

And i called him for like 5 minutes, and finally he wake up and fetch me ~~

FLY to UM hospital...

Counter say they are at there, there say they are at Ward, Ward say they are somewhere else..and we are helpless again~ STUPID HOSPITAL!

in THE END, Darius saw them thru a glass..

and they came out right on time...I saw WEndy's bf's shirt all covered with blood~~His eyebrow there stich a few..

Wendy was okay...

Gave them water, money and my handphone.

Grabbed some picture for here...thanks to Darius...he deleted! HMMMPP

And wait till their UM friends arrived from hospital...den we went back!

All the while in hospital...Darius was quiet, seriously im quite scared of him that time. Probably he is angry that i woke him up~~

KL @ Part 1

I met Johnsson Wee, the Project Superstar winner!

Conversation was like this:

(I walk to MAC, he was sitting there like very boring, just finish his make-up n jus ate)

(he stand up n shake hand with me...gave me a puzzled look)

me: errrrr....you donno me never mind...as long as i know you okay already...

John : huh....?

me : nolaa... just wanted to take a picture with you, ok ar?

John : Ohh...no problem...come..come..

(wendy came over to help us take picture...1st one )

*chi kit chi kit

John : see..see.......

me : OIIII wendy...not nice laaa

Wendy : ok ok take again...

*chi kit chi kit

John : waahh my make up very thick! but thanks anyway...(shake hand with me and another puzzzled look)

**I was wondering maybe he wants my name, but i thought it was a waste of time to tell him my name...LIKE HE WILL REMEMBER!

Me : (shake hand with him) *pause* Im Cheryl

John : okay okay..nice to meet you!

Me : hey, is there any chance that we can keep in touch?

John : err.r......

Me : okay okay...i understand...never mind laa

John : you can actually reach me thru my website u know? hehee my website address is www.johnfc.com (if i didn't remember wrong)

Me : okay okay...thanks ya!

-end-

Then i went to print out our photo....wrote my name, email and hp num behind...

and pass it to him!

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

THE MOST HILARIUS THINGS I'D DONE!

not left not right not front not behind

I felt something. But I didn't know what was it. I tortured my brain and force it to come out with a word that can describe exactly what my feeling is. No. In the end, I sort of gave up finding the vocab. I give it a sigh. Perhaps, there is no word that can describe that feeling.

So, here's it.

HAIHHHHH

After so much we've seen, so much we've played, so long we've took, so much we've hope...

Life sometimes is pretty funny isn't it? I think most of the people out there knew far too well, UNTIL they are lazy argue-ing this already~~

Not right not left not front not behind. Not everywhere.

two roads diverge into a yellow woods...(remember this?)

What if, you won't feel any better choosing either one of the road? Can we just stand there, not moving?

Isn't it feeling glad for now is good enough?

( A little thoughts of the day. )

SAD

I don want to blog already...

Nobody comment except ROn..n i think he is giving me face because im his gf~~

SOB SOB

Say no more~~ i don wan blog already...

decided!

You guys spoiled me with 18 comments...then later throw me into the seas with only Ron commenting.

I hate you guys! So cruel...

Where is SHarman? where is WEndy? where is hazel? Where is jeff? Where is bryan? Where is anonymous? Where is everybody?

Sob Sob

Forget it~ Im talking to wall i know..

Although everybody kept telling me...No comment doesn't mean nobody read your blog..but you know..

SIGH

Nobody can understand the feeling of getting alot of commentS!! Although rationally, we know people have been reading...but still, comments are the steel proof that somebody is reading...you know...

ok~ i'll really forget it~ nobody is reading..

SobSob

I hate im woman

woman is sooOOOOooo crazy!

I hate myself because woman do things funnily. First, woman sacrifice for man! They do it happily without people asking them or requesting them to. Willingly, and they said in the begining that they are enjoying doing those sacrifices.

Then, one day, she suddenly wake up...feeling extremely tired. In her mind "WHATS WRONG WITH ME?" Wondering why is she making her life miserable...thinking...why does she need to answer his call everytime? Why must she be there when he wants her to? Why she needs to make herself so tired for a no-future? Why must she wait for him everyday? Sometimes even till dawn? Wake up early in the morning just to say good morning and BLA~!!!! (those are the things normal couple and stupid woman do rite?)

And what woman do, is...cancel all her activities to make herself available for man~~ What man do, is...continue his life's schedule~

Life, where got fair?GRRRRR

Woman wanted to complain. Yes we do. Feel lucky if your woman didn't complain! But most woman complaint. Smart woman bear the bitterness and swallow it all by herself. *AWW so bitter* haha because smart woman thinks what the heck? He has no fault. He never asked me to. So we the woman is left, wordless, become a crazy woman who likes to complain! ARRGG

What do we woman want??? We 1st say, we will sacrifice happily, then we complain! APALAH~!!!! I hate woman!

Can anyone turn me to a man? To have a woman treat me like this? haha~

*************************************************************
"women are from venus, men are from mars"

John Gray says, woman likes to compliant, and guy will offer solutions to solve the problem. Sorry we don't want solution! We only want somebody to listen to. SOMEBODY to share. Then, after all the complaints, eventually, she will feel better. (Yeah, i did feel better now)

When a man complaint, woman likes to offer unsolicited advice. This makes a man think he can't solve the problem by himself(arrogant I say!). When woman 'help' a man with his prolem, he thinks woman is underestimating him. Don't trust him.

**************************************************************

Thank you John Gray. Now i know...Woman just want to let man knows that exactly what amount of sacrifices a woman has done. To be appreaciated. YEAY woman really can count! Coz she don't want her sacrifices to be wasted. I mean, what is the use of doing it when a man don't know the exact total? hahaha CRAZY WOMAN!

Nothing Better To Do

NINE last things i just did =
1. last place you were: Sea View Restaurant ( hard to explain..last year sis wedd left over tables..if u understand)
2. last cigarette: NEVER laa...siao~
3. last beverage: chrysantimun (DONNO HOW TO SPELLL!!!)
5. last movie watched : World Trade CEntre
6. Last cd played: Jay's STILL FANTASY
7. Last bubble bath : what heck is bubble bath laa~~~?
8. Last cried: hmmm...should be 3-4 days ago
9. Last drink alcohol : awww...Long long ago...hmm last month?

EIGHT have you evers =
1. have you ever dated someone twice: yeah~ sad
2. have you ever been cheated on: YEAH~sad
3. have you ever kissed someone: bodoh...who dont?
4. have you ever kissed someone you regret: kiss only maa...what is so big to be regret? wasting time..so stupid
5. have you ever fallen in love: AWWW...DAMN!
6. have you ever lost someone: *&$#^Q@#$ im getting fedup with this section's ques!
7. have you ever been depressed: If im immortal...den i never...*@#)%#
8. have you ever eat a life animal: Nonono....i don even kill moisquito for goodness sake~


SEVEN favourite branded things =
People...talking to branded people makes me feel im branded too!
watch! qualities makes the different.
Wallet...because u carry them everywhere...
hummm...wat else?
wait wait...who don't like branded things if they have money? SKIP!


SIX things you did in the past four days=
1.More then 6...which to write? ONlINe, tv, sleep, talk on the phone, errr toilet? EAT? !!!!*#&(q*%#


FIVE things on your mind right now =
1. sleepy...
2. HIM!
3. HER
4. how to improve myself to be the best person in the world???
5. How to get thinner...


FOUR people you can tell pretty muchANYTHING to=
1. Hazel lorr
2. WEndy lorrr
3. Ron lorrr
4. Vivien lorrr
Can i have 5? eehehehe


THREE favorite colors --
Depends on my mood...i like colourful n sweet colour...Sometimes green, red, pink, blue...It will need to see on which object the colour is rite?


TWO things you want to do before youdie =
1. hmmm...bEING happy
2. hugs from everyone i love :)


ONE goal for this year =
1. hmm...Being love by the person I love always!

Name 3 things in your Bag/pouch/POCKET:
wallet, keys, thats ALL!

Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
Sing my lung out
Keep quiet in a quiet environment
Sleep

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis
Toilet, room, in front of pc!

Name 3 favorite fruits:
I like fruits...3 too little to mention. Every fruits? Somebody care to buy fruits for me? ehhee

Who are you thinking about right now?
Hummm...my prince charming...hahaha

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
my prince charming!

Whose birthday is next?
mummy!

What do you wish to do right now?
ermm...go back to tarc..sobz sobz

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
donno...pyjamas bought by mummy..

What was the last thing you ate?
dried guava

What color of shirt are you wearing?
White..

What is the closest item near you that is black?
The laptop im using now~ ahha

What do you wear more; jeans or shorts?
shorts...cooler

What song do you currently hear?
J'ay's ting ma ma de hua...nice song!

What was your dream last night?
A very very very sweet dream

When did you last go to the mall?
This afternoon, if Summit Parade Batu Pahat is a mall!

When did you last burn a candle?
Day before yesterday...i use aromatheraphy; Lavender to help better sleep.

When did you last see your best friend?
Hazel, when did i last see u? February if im not mistaken..

When do you wanna see someone you love ?
When i needed to be hug most! BTW, i see him everyday...he is sleeping now! Hippo la...hehe

IM hacked

2 days ago, midnight~~ i was on in MSN...

Somebody told me, he wanted to test something. I agreed because...

All i have to do...is answer to his few question...

I was boring at the time, so i agreed.

He asked~ Name me ur 5 best friends name.

2nd question, Your fixed line number its under whose name...

And thats for it.

He says, now, you remember this password... "ABCDE"

Then he asked me, NOw, you count 1 - 10

I counted...1...2...3...4...5...6..7...8..9!

What happened next, is my msn log out, and it says, it is log in at another place...

I was like *(mailto:$#^@#*($#(q)*&#q$&$# WTF???????

THEN, i remembered he asked me to remember the password, i typed and OMG

I was log in...

After that, i was not only a little furious..."MY GOD? WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?"

MY MSN PASSWORD WAS CHANGED?!!!

THen he told me "ehhh..go change ur friendster password...its too easy laa..hahha"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked him, WEEIII what else password do u know...

and he sent me a file...

www.hoobie.net/brutus

HE says, he knew all my passwords and id, EVERYTHING!

MY GOD...am i just willingly being hacked?

@@

<>

Girls' priviledge

"wake up laa...what time already now???"

"Im having menstrual cycle~~~ very tired wan you know...can't u understand"


"you room so messy..cannot tidy up huh?"

"Im having menstrual cycle...cannot!"


"so lazy...donno how to go exercise huh?"

"Im having menstrual cycle...not enuf blood..later faint how?"


"why everyday cook i-don-like food?...im having menstrual cycle...later i not enuf minerals how?"


"cut fruit for me..pls"

"you cannot cut yourself HUH"

"im having menstrual cycle...later accidentally cut my hand...will waste blood want!!!"


"why go toilet for so long"

"having menstrual cycle...go toilet very long wan..u donno MER?"


"who step on your tail today? A little bit lost temper!!!"

"I having menstrual cycle...very xin ku wan lerrr"


"Don simply throw things can or not?"

"IM HAVING MENSTRUAL CYCLE LA"


**CAn you imagine a piece of bread stays under, where you feel wet and dirty, 24 hours a day, 5days stick together with you? Worse still, your kidney and stomach feel uncomfortable and all the time you are worrying that it might leak out? WORSE is...you gotto wash your underwear, pants, bedsheet, bolstersheet if it leaks out! You know how difficult is to wash away the blood stain...and imagine if you are being SO LUCKY everyday~~~

It irritates people okay...Please give us the priviledge...

KORLIEN

i mean me... PITY me please...

2 days ago...

my mum cook chicken feet!

feet or foot? whatever~~ YOu understand...

1 day ago...

my mum cook MEE HOON SOUP!

Fine~~ all the food that i don like...nvm

TODAY

MY MUM COOK

PIG'S FOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ain't gonna keep quiet anymore...

SHE IS TORTURING ME!!!

I BANG INTO HER ROOM...

and say, "hey, maa...ni zai zhe muo wo si ma?"

"3 days straight u cook everything i don't like, 1 day chicken feet, 1 day mee fen tang, 1 day PIG FEET????"

"TOmorrow what u want to cook? My foot?"

GGRRRRRRRR

To Hazel

Treasure
is when we know we are losing it
Sad
is when we know we cannot achieve it
Lost
is when we know not what to do
Happy
is when we know we had done it
Regret
is when we know it will possibly turn out perfect if we do it bravely
Glad
is when we know we once have it
Sigh
is when we know life is ugly
Angry
is when we know not why it must be like this
Emotional
is when we hope it is possible
Rational
is when we know the fact that it is impossible
Cry
is when we know that we are so naive
Believe
is when we know we can do nothing more than that
Struggle
is when we want to believe life is beautiful
Strong
is when we think we can hide the fear
Weak
is when we can hold no more
Touched
is when we know somebody is there at least


:) Always sunshine after rain as long as you wait and don say give up. Friendship forever from me.

Love him!

I love him... coz he always know...

when to talk

when to beg me

when to shut up

when to hug me

when to kiss me

when to call me many times for no reason

when to get angry

when to lose his temper

when to sleep

when to wait for me for counless hours

when to look at me and say nothing

when to be quiet when he is blamed for no reason

when to say he loves me

when to pretend he is not there

when to dry my tears

when to look at me innocently

when to shout ...

Anonymous of the day

So I'm here. For the ANONYMOUS.

To those who don't know, this were his/her comments...

":(if i were you Ron (if i'm not mistaken, you are her bf?), i wouldn't comment on anything from now on.p/s: YOU ARE BEING PUBLICLY INSULTED:CHEERS: "

sent twice.

":)since when is it required to have approval before a comment can be posted? guess someone got scared of random posts. u've been publicly insulting ron (he's your bf for crying out loud), and i dare you to allow this if you have any dignity left in you. *disgusted*:CHEERS: "

sent twice.

On the tittle "miracle" posted on Wednesday, 1st of Nov.

I did not just look into his/her commentS and got myself angry. I did not. In fact, my 1st reaction was, asked Ron whether i have insulted him. Asked my friends whether any of my words have insulted Ron. And all answers given to me was negative.

After then, i smile...

WOW look!

Who is there to create such a mess in MY BLOG? so now everybody knows, why i name this blog "OWN MY WAY"? Coz i have my own ways...and if you don like,

GET LOST!

I welcome you and dare you back if you still have ANY dignity in you, to answer all OUR questions. Come on, you dare me, i POSTED ALL your comments...I mean all...including the same ones which you make it like you scared i won't publish! HAH

For your information, i set the comments to be moderated because sometimes people send the same comment accidentally for twice. I will only post 1, for that reason, it is moderated. And i never not publish any comment that my fellow readers sent. Purely because i appreaciate them. Unless they request for it.

Grabbing this oppurtunity, I would like to say alot of thanks to my fellow commenters...for the comments posted and cared that you guys have showed. Like I always say, throughout my life, the happiest thing happened to me will ever always be...

whenever I'm in trouble, my friends always stand in the frontline for me. Deepest thank you and big fat HUGS!

Im here, not wanting to insult that ANONYMOUS...not wanting to DEGRADE myself like he/she did. Im here, to request for answers.

By the way, i dindn't know or expect my blog can be this famous. I don't think many bloggers receive this kind of comments do they? Unless they are bloggers like KennySia or Xiaxue. Maybe i should upgrade my blog and see how many people read each day. Thank you for reading. Of coz, including YOU the anonymous who make an effort for this blog.

CHEERS!

She says...

She says...

"
Im nobody to be sad
Im nobody to ask why
Im nobody to request
Im nobody to stop

Im nobody to be jealous
Im nobody to be pleased
Im nobody to be missed
Im nobody to be called

too much to care
too much to consider
too much to sacrifice
too much for even a dream

nobody is to be hurt
nobody is to love
nobody is to hope
nobody is to cry

How can a train goes derailed
when nobody can made a mistake
How to say impossible is nothing
Like you say a cat can marry a dog

How to not struggle
when everything is too smooth for a r'ship
How to just feel numb
When everything is never meant to be

At the end of the day
she says..
the grass is greener on the other side
then she smiles and say "hopefully"
"

miracle

We always complain, that miracle don't happen. A sudden thought after some miracle happened on my life.

Miracle only happen when you don't expect it to happen.

We tend to take things for granted. Miracles are one of them.

WHen we demand too much...demand for a miracle to happen, even after it happened, we don't call it as miracle. So, its not surprising and nothing worth to be happy about anymore.

Life is full of miracle. Believe me.

Be a easily contented people...open up your hearts and it will happen on you!

SO ANGRY!

2 days ago...my room is in this mess...i took out all the books (left to me since my 2 sisters and bro <22>) to give away. Cause all along, when i wanted to giveaway...my beloved 1st sis will tell me to KEEP or sell them. So it all kept inside my cupboard eating up my spaces in the room.

LOOK!

These are the books...and more to come...

Half of me that high. One day, trees is coming to give me nightmare!

**********************************************************

there are 8 more photos!!! BUT I JUST CAN'T UPLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M SO ANGRY!

**********************************************************

It has been 2 days, woke up to find my lips full with dried blood. Am I being haunted by ghost? Or im suffering for cancer? Mum said, probably body over heat...

**********************************************************

How many 2 people can talk like the world is going to end tomorrow?

If you don't get what i mean, it means : talking non-stop la~ haiyo...

**********************************************************

I hate people do things without "jiao dai" (donno wat in english)

Like very irresponsible..left a "what happened question mark" to the opponent.

eg: left msn without a word, when we chat half way...then i wait wait wait...nobody inform me that the line went off. Until this morning! HMMP!

HAHAHHAHA

**********************************************************

TOday early morning,7 sth, i wake up so early to find surprises. And i found 1! hehehe yeahhh!!!

My friend message in a good way to say I'm sweet..wohoooo!

**********************************************************

BYEBYE. SO many messy short short words today.

PEning~~

Value

THings we saw...all have a worth. Easier to understand...How do we value? $$$MOney$$$ We said it as everything has got a price tag.

No matter how old a thing is...It has a value, a sum. But value-ing a human? THat will be the most complicated sum a mathematician can count!

You work. You were valued...mostly through the money, mind my words! The money that you have invested in your studies. Im not being narrow minded. My point of view is that..so many people reach University BUT they actually aren't qualified at all. Old people say, reaching degree level, people will look at you highly. Automatically, your value rise. But Mr. Robert Kiyosaki said, "the times has changed, advice haven't"

BEcause you know what, last time education cost ALOT. And most, i said most! not all, who get the chance to further their studies will learnt. And mostly they are working cum studying. THey are learning, or adapting or praticing the knowledge they are learning.

Most people nowadays...go college because they have money! Or maybe force by their parents. I ask you, how many people say...

"YEAHHH!! Im going to learn something new today in college!"

haha not me...not you. Perhaps even susah(difficult) to find even one. Why? BEcause things come too easy. Or maybe the education system now should change?

So i change Mr Kiyosaki's words...

"The times had changed, education system haven't"

Now, the younger generation of us, is much more inteligent COMPARED to the older ones. Technolgy helps of course.

Last time, it seems degree level is unreachable...and now~ it is everywhere!!

So the price has drop. MEaning, human's value drop. But why oil, sugar, rice keep on increase???

My GOD! Will next time sugar's price become higher than human's price?

So we don't keep children anymore...we keep sugar! Buy house to keep sugar?

Im insane~

************************************************************

On my friendster old post last time, i posted an entry call "waiting" remember? I said...

"indeed, waiting is a nice feeling...is like a hope...about to reach, yet to come. Have you ever taste this kind of feeling before? because waiting is a blank future hope..so we will fantasize positive feedback that deep in our heart, we wanted! (",) Well, of course, if positive feedback becomes a reality, that will be so much better. However most of the time, i doubt that will happen rite? Instead often we get what we really don't want! So, although the waiting period of time is short, but i honestly enjoy it. Where you can dream so much about things you want it to happen. And who knows? It might just happen 1 day...."

Now i want to add something. You DO feel good when you are waiting but

YET you know...no matter how long-er you wait... how positive the fact is...how happy of waiting and it comes later..

WHen in the end...you know you CAN't HAVE IT......

It feel SUCKS!

So afterall...its only a short, temporary happiness but long term sadness.

POk moNG

I don understand...

What is so nice about touching girl's butt???

....
....
...
...

I was at Petaling Street 2 days ago. Crowded as it always be. Noisy and stuffy and raining and it was a bad day...

But the barbeque fish outside Hong Leong Bank is nice. Not as nice as last time though...for ur info, not as spicy as last time already. And the Air mata kuching, also the soya bean around that place is yummy too.



BAck to the story...

What is so nice of touching people's meat? *sigh...its so stupid

Ron wondered why i never freak out...I thought it was just a piece of meat.

EVen if you cried or shout or whatever, it has already been touched. So what is the use of freaking out?

@@ waste energy~

Like that guy will regret if you cry...

I was wearing a pair of jeans lucky me you would say. But I expected this kind of things happened when you go places like Petaling Street or below Eastin Hotel. Hahaa

Thats why i say, guys are mostly pervert creatures. Stupid. No brain. Dumb. Aiyah~ they are idiots!

I told Ron, as long as they don't steal my things...I very happy liao~

***********************************************************

I think i had a crush on my far away cousin. Its my cousin's cousin. Never saw him before until yesterday when he helped my sis to shift my things to Sg long. Maybe because my sis praise him and his family too much. But the moment i saw his face, I was straight away shy, and blushed without even saying HI to him. Then I was wearing a shit shirt with shit short pants, I pretended all the while that he doens't exist. And later, my sis annouced his number, coz that number is way too nice, so i remembered. Couldn't help but he pop up in my mind many times. I sms him to say thank you. He didn't seem to care much and wish that I had enjoyed.

A guy help you to shift things without saying 2nd words and help you to arrange everything nicely and neatly without you even asking him to...

is a goodie good guy!

And a guy never ask for a treat and say no when you offered him a treat and insist to show us the way to times square just to make sure my sis who had stayed at KL for 10 years don't get lost...

is a fantastic guy!

How many people was like me? Simply crush like that? ALOT

It was bothering me for quite sometime.

Then i figured out. I don't even know who he is. I saw him properly only once. Conversation can be counted with fingers.

Conclusion?

We will see each other again once a year for sure. :)

Chinese New Year

I still love Ron because he is way too sweet.

A good guy is unresistable. But a sweet guy like Ron, haha who knows he is better?

Clowns

I don understand why kids love clowns.

It was at KLCC, deserted place inside Isetan at kids corner....

Suddenly i saw a colorful creature beside me. It frightens me more than I see a ghost!!

Coz the clown is moving! Ghosts I saw aren't. And he says "hello" to me!

I jumped! then the clown came near me. FUCK!

Luckily he saw my face changed, then he go away~

Later, while i was running-cum-walking out of that area~

I saw another clown playing with a kid...and then, the kid cried!

Comon...stupid clown GO AWAY LA!

And another 1 playing kids' laptop with the promoter~~

Why put so many clowns in that stupid place while there were only little people inside?

donno who the heck invented clown.

Later when i wanted to submit a picture of clown, i found a "ihateclown" website! www.ihateclown.com

Sorry i can't find clown pictures to put here...Found one but is copyrighted. Better don't! Later scared my reader away..

Supernatural experience

How many people had encounter this kind of thing?

1st time:
Subang Jaya SS15, My place apartment, Hazel's house.

About last year of this time Edel and me were at Hazel's place. Talking and chit chatting. Hazel in another room. I saw a woman in red clothes looking at us. I thought my eyes were wrong or whatever, I blink blink, she's gone. Definately it's my wild imagination again. That was what i thought at the time. So I ignored it and forget what happened.

We carry on talking and talking. I never mentioned a thing to Edel. About like 1 and a half hour later~ my friend suddenly gave out a small shout. He said he saw a figure. THERE! Then i ask him, "what?". He stunned for a while. And I asked again, "hey, what?" Then he said, "nothing la nothing"

I never clicked these 2 things together until the next morning, when my friend is gone, Hazel asked what we were talking about. Only when I organized my mind and told Hazel what happened, these 2 incidents cling together. So Hazel asked me to investigate what Edel saw yesterday.

WIhtout telling him what I saw, I asked him, "eh, yesterday remember you said you saw a figure, then suddenly u jamn there?"

he said "no laa...nothing la...maybe not enough sleep, see wrongly"

"hey, tell me what you saw. Because previously i saw something too. Is it a red color clothes woman"

"yeah, and its long hair. I saw a while only" he said.

***we saw it at the same place, wearing red colour clothes.

Then i told Hazel about it. And hahaa, she don't quite believe anyway. Forcing herself not to believe maybe, coz at the time she was alone stayying at that house.


2nd time:
Tasik Y Batu Pahat, 2am. Nothing to do this late so we thought of maybe a stroll at Tasik Y will be cool. Never know the lights were turned off at midnight (coz we always heard couples or friends will go there at midnight want).

WHen I saw it was so dark, I quickly asked my friend to turn away. While we are doing that, from faraway, like 5 meters away, inside the park, I saw a child in white dress, very lovely dress, running happily inside the park. First glance, nothing special. 2nd glance, why the child is alone? the child is like only 3 years old. 3rd glance, MY GOD, is 2am in the morning!!! why in the hell they come out at this hour!? 4th glance, nothing more.

I told my friend to leave immediately. He follow as I said. But as he did so, getting nearer to the place I saw the child (because there is no other way to go out except going through that way) I looked and looked at the same place again. I am quite sure I saw a child there just now. But nomore.

Later when i asked my friend did he see what I saw, he said Im bullshitting.



3rd time,
11-12am, Taman Limpoon, beside cemetary place, fetching my friend back. I always hated to fetch Hema back. 1 thing because its super dark; no lights at all and its all trees beside, somemore beside cemetary, then I always got lost at that place. DAMN IT. So, I take the longer way, fetch Hema back 1st, then Wendy and Step later.

On the way fetching hema back, I saw an old man below a tree. 1st glance, an old uncle figure. 2nd glance, did I see wrongly? *on my car's highlight* 3rd glance, no more. Im scared! Suddenly my brain hang. Luckily Im not alone. Drop Hema back, then get away as quickly as possible until the main road.

I asked Step and Wendy, did they saw it? They asked,when. I explain, did you realised I suddenly on my highlight? They say ya...that time laaa, I said. BEcause i thought its too dark, I saw wrongly.

Wendy said she saw. But at somewhere else. Not that place, and something else. We didn't think much or talk about it again.

*******************************************************
Everytime when I talked about this, my heart beats faster and my eyes become watery and my "bulu roma" will naik wan. If you said im scared, i don't think so. Anyway its 1 year ago, and they didn't harm me. Anybody have same experince? Lets' share!

Im going back to Kl later, 2.30pm bus. By the way, I won't have anywhere to stay after October at KL. Sis shifting back to bp already. Anyone's place can let me stay? hee

So happy!

Today miss WEndy send me a message. Ask me what's wrong! She said she felt that I was very sad this few weeks. Because she is busying with the funeral things(her grandpa passed away last week)..that's why didn't ask me whats wrong.

HEEE

Seee~~!! My friend can sense that I am sad. Bluerk. But Hazel can pinpoint my way out of despair without me telling her the whole thing. She understands myself more than I do.

*BIG FAT HUGS to you both

Isn't it great to have friends like that?

I love you both. Thank you for everything and friends forever.

Shout Out Loud!

Comon everybody! Lets shout out loud!

RELATIONSHIP IS NOT EVERYTHING

HEHEE this is dedicated to alot of my friends out there~

1) Hazel who forget friends after she got colin. And changed drastically because of her beloved. LIke from black to white.

2) Wendy, who was once a goody good friend. "Always there friend". Now no more. Talk only about her bf. And keep sms-ing when we go out.

5) Mr Brian...haih brian brian~~ sometimes when you are cooking, the fire cannot be too strong, rice will burnt. Too slow, rice not cooked. Moderate enough liao. oK?

4) Vivien, Shupin, Kimberly if you read, and Mark! HOOOiiii, single is precious. Appreaciate it. Treasure it. Friends good ma...won't break up. :p


I know im at no status to say this. But don't frown because you are single or get too crazily in love. Life, not only have relationship. Love not only from bf/gf. Open up your heart and you will know that, every day there are many more things worth appreaciating. than those unworthy bastards out there. Live for yourself. Not for your loved one.

So lets' shout out loud!

I CAN LIVE FOR MYSELF

I am a survivor. We are survivor. Keep on suviving, we are survivor.

***This whole post is a crap~

Answer me

What will you do to a friend that "luo jing xia si" (drop stones when you are inside the well)---- I supposed that is the meaning.

He was my kind of good friend. Maybe I've mistakenly thought he was one. But he was after me while having a 3 years long girlfriend. I rejected and rejected, he kept calling for the terms of friend. A good friend. Well, that guy gave me quite an impression. And because he was one of my teacher's son, i wouldn't want to provoke him. For I was single at the time, i answer almost all of his called. Told him about my history, family stuff when he asked. He was pity, sad. And I remembered this guy told me, no matter what happened, he will do whatever he can to protect me, as a friend.

Later when we get closer, I asked him. Hey, what if i accepted you to be my boyfriend...what will you do to your girlfriend. 3 years isn't short. He explained...he said he wouldn't want to risk. If i accepted him, only he will break up with his gf. He keep on saying that, his gf was only a companion, no love. And it will happen for sure. Just one day.

It happens that my ex-bf that time later, was his friend. And he becomes some sort of our matchmaker unintentionally. He was sad. We were helpless. But then, when something happened on us, well, nobody is to blame when a relationship goes wrong rite? Okay~ my ex blamed alot on me...really like everything? And he scolded me on my blog through comments. I take it. My friend, my ex- friend...the so called "will protect me" added to his comment, sided him, scolded me.

And worse is...he called me like a good friend again. Explaining, he will need to 'act' in front of him, cause they were childhood friend. Worse still, he said all kind of bad words in front of me about him. Say, they were friends till now because he have got some kind of authority. Because of his(my ex) family. HAH. funny

Now, they were still good friend if not best friend. And, he is still with his gf.

I've stop taking his call for quite sometimes. For months...giving reason, didn't hear the hp ring, or going out or outside when i picked up. Guess he got my meaning. He stoped calling. I wondered what should I do when he call again.

I think he is cheap.

Lie begins from school

Tittle : My Interest
Year : 2001
Writer : Tan Shi Yee
Note : don't expect too much from a Form 1 student. I guess i copy this from somewhere...coz my IN GE LIS wasn't that good back then.

Everybody have their interest. So do I. For me, my interest are reading. I prefer to read story books because they are interesting and gives me more knowledge. Next, I like watching television. I like watching television because it is very interesting. The movie i like were "looking for star, top fun, super sunday and more. Those are movie will gives me joys when I watch it. Besides that, I also enjoy listening to music. I like westlife, N'sync, britney spears and more. Whenever I'm free, i will listen to their new song. I enjoy it very much.

Tittle : My teacher
Note : Maybe this one is i write one.

Mrs. Chan, who is born on 15th of June 1952 and now she is 49 years old. From she was very young, she has a ambition. It is to become a kind and helpful teacher. Now, her dreams come true. She have become an afternoon supervisor in TIGS. At first, she was teaching chemistry in school. She become an afternoon supervisors because of she is a kind and very polite teacher. She has been teaching for 14 years and she was really so happy with it. Her favourite foods are goreng pisang, rojak and more. SHe also like mineral waters. She enjoys swimming during her pastimes. She loves to wear long skirt very much. She enjoys holidays. She like to go to Europe and New Zealand. She looks happy all the time. When she is in school, she was so busy preparing lessons for her students and giving advise to her students. Mrs Chan is a very kind, polite and responsible teacher. Her student like her so much.

Firstly, I cannot understand why, i write this kind of stupid grammar IN GE LIS. I can't make myself to dig out my primary school's essay. And i wondered, which day which day to come, maybe I will read back all this post that I've written, and found myself back in the situation now. STILL lots of stupid grammar IN GE LIS. *Sigh

How many people wrote their interest is reading when they are small? How many people say they want to become doctor and lawyer when they are to fill in their profile. Or teacher...hik hik. ME! ME! ME! ME! More than half the student hated Mrs Chan. hikhik. I donn know that part where I said she likeS goreng lisang and rojak come from where.

Why can't they cut off those essay to stop us from lying? *eyes rolling*

Most girlfriend are like prostitute

I don understand...

hahaa, when i wrote those words "i don understand" i laugh myself and think i sound like those small kid that don understand so many things. I bet I've use these words more often than I'd imagine. Maybe I am really too childish. Or think too much. Or crazy. Who knows?

okay~enough of syok sendiri...back to the topic.

Agree with me? most girlfriend are prostitute? Yes? nO? Donno?

You have sex with your gf?
How many times a week you 2 have sex?
U see her you feel like having sex?
What is the ratio of you seeing her and you 2 have sex? Everytime?

hey hey hey, I know sex is a human needs although i STILL don really agree. And fuck those guy that only have sex all in their mind. I hope and wish and pray that 1 day they will meet some pervert prostitute, use candle or put ice on their erect penis. HMMP! right after organsm!

I got a friend, a girl, bet with me, she is only 17 years old man. Seventeen!!!! You know what...okay~first first, she is basically not my friend. But her bf is my friends' friend. LEts name the bf, the fuckup guy Simon, age 19 i guess. Im sorry to other Simon in the world. But, okay~~ this girl, who is only 17 got selected to national service. Only 1 and half month they don't see each other, that guy become a stupid pervert, sex maniac already!!!

HUUUUHHHHH~~~ You know what they do??? The girl is coming back home for "chim ming" festival. Forget about it if you don't know what is it, not very important. What the important thing is, a week before she comes back, that fuckup Simon, book hotel, CHEAP hotels, and happily tell all of us, so called his friends, and told us, they are going to have sex in the hotels!!!

They are like so proud of it? Then, all of us, reflex reaction, tease them maa~~ THAT moment, i really wish somewhere there is a hole that i can burried girls' face inside. The girlfriend kept quiet and just smiles smiles~~

*sweating* And worse of all, his girlfriend, donno aware of it or not, i bet she knows...he told us in front of his gf also. If ronald do this to me, i will go to the hotel, and play SM with him. If he dares! blek, he won't.

So all the way, she comes back from NS, what they guy want only sex!!! gosh, becoz they have no place to have sex...then they book hotel. Borrow money from my friend somemore, to pay for the hotel room. And he is the kind of asshole that go out makan or yamcha don't pay money and like say loudly when people struggling to pay... say "I got no money". Borrow money don't pay also. What kind of human is that??!!

I think he will prefer to find a prostitute if he got enough money to get one. WAHAHAHAH

I wonder how many couple do that. Maybe only a few...coz they have place to have sex. Thats why i hate sex. It turns a beautiful loving relationship to ugly ones.

:( maybe is normal for adults...im just a small kid still not used to the sex world. Too innocent. *erhem

IM crazy

Would anyone believe me, if i say im crazy? This is a serious post, not a funny dunny want...And i am serious im crazy.

I need a psychiatrist more than anyone to correct my mindset. Or somebody knock me on my head and made me lose my memory please.

I think alot, mostly negative. Sad for no reason. Cry myself to sleep and wish i will die everytime. I will think nobody love me, everyone want to hurt me. And do many stupid things. Including breaking up with Ron for my own very funny but logical reason. I think.

I knew I'd been ridiculous. I can't control it. You know what I told him? I want to stop myself from being hurt again. Love nobody and nobody love me. Only when you care/love about somebody, that person can hurt you. Ron is one, my family is one.

Am i wrong that nobody wish to hurt another person purposely? Who will want to mean it when they love that person? Is my thinking very wrong? Correct me if I am wrong. Everybody have their very point of view...everyone have their reason for doing something. A purpose that mean good, but because everyone thinks differently, they take THAT purpose as different type of treatment, reason...i donno what i am talking about.

I didn't mean to hurt ron, but the fact is I already hurt him. I mean to protect myself. So is what he did to me that makes me came to this decision...i know. But i can't control myself.

Im crazy.

Friendship come and go

So many times, i thought i've known a person like for a lifetime. Knew one from inside out. I believe this occurs to everyone before. But it happens too many times on me till now, i believe nothing is for sure anymore. Once in standard 2, i remembered Wong and Teo, we used to be 3 in a group, stick together through thick and thin, although quarrels do happened, but we seems closer than real sisters, hatred doesn't stayed overnight.

Then, Wong shifted to JB if i wasn't mistaken, after that we lost touched. My life goes further on primary school till lower secondary, i then stick together with Manjit, an punjabi friend, and Michelle, a typical innocent girl. People wear different view on us, weird to describe better, for an indian stay so close to chinese. We study together, have the same aim, to strive in studies, and to have fun in life. We were the only non malays in TIGS (my secondary school), afternoon session. TIGS for your information, is a top school in Batu Pahat, so there are classes called RKM 1 & 2. Its for the top student who got straight A's in UPSR(primary school examination). I didn't do well, WE didn't do well, so we were ended up being in afternoon session, 3 of us, where the other chineses were all in RKM.

The teachers all see us like 3 aliens stuck in afternoon session. But that, bide us together. Choral Speaking, made us even closer, we manage to merge as the top 5 finalist in Malaysia. Michelle then, got straight A's in PMR. So she was then being transfered to Science 1, me, Science 2, Manjit who didn't do that well went to Science 3. How cruel is life.

I begin a new life in Science 2, with the another one chinese girl who fell the same fate as me, 6A's 1 B. Our thoughts are different, but im forced to being close with her. Again, drama competition came into our life in form 4. A group of 15, went till Kelantan, Zone C Malaysia 1st runner up. After it finish, it finished.

I was then elected president for Interact, lucky me. GOt to know some new friends. A number of them. Gott really close. People like Elaine and Hanjin who were my sisters, Jason the council president while im the deputy president, Lifong and Yong wee as far as Yong Peng and alot more...

Again, i thought they are going to be my lifetime friends. But it was gone again after our presidency in Interact ended. We lost touched because everyone was busy preparing for exams, then further studies. When i was preparing to further my study, Wendy and Hazel came into my life. Glad that till now we still keep in touch. I darenot hope that this will last, but i only say, i appreaciate those moment we spent together just to have a talk or the effort made by them when im at most downwards part of my life.

College then gathered a group of friends. I thought even if it will go gone, will have to wait for another 3 years. Because worse to worse, we will need to stay together in a deserted place, Sg LOng, want or do not want. But you cannot predict life how good you think you are, how intimate a friendship will be, maybe its heaven's will, we were apart. Vivien left us, she passed the exam. All of us failed.

Not the end yet, but half the year we are apart from 1 year friendship. What is in your mind? Like a wet paper let dried for 1 hour then splash water on it for half an hour, to test whether it tore. Yes, it tore. But not the whole paper gone. Some were still there, but most change.

Sigh...

The sad smell of life

Age 15 was an important year for every malaysian teenager. They are going to sit for Penilaian Menengah Rendah. As young as that, naively, Kim thought that it was time for her to work. Working for the unfairness she had been treated in her life. The experts used to say that family influeced place the most part when it comes to dealing with youngster. Indeed, so although she wasn't treated good in the place of her family, she not only do not want to accept but tried to change the fact.

If it was something to blame, then it will be blamed on the time she came to this world wasn't right

because she was the youngest in the family. Like what most people would think, and she came across many people who had told her, being as the youngest would be best adored and loved. Everytime when people said this to her, she felt a strong knife poked into her heart. Not aware of what is wrong, but being in the youngest of the other 3 girls above her and only boy in the house wasn't the best thing anyone could expect.

That year, when she was to sit for PMR, she thought it will be the best year for her to change her life. Like an ugly duckling going to transform into a beautiful swan. For that the only heir in the house didn't do very well. She thinks that if she outwin the king of the house, she would become the princess. So from that day since this mindset came across her mind, she works like a bull for silly 7A's. A straight full A's a somebody to be proud of by their family would achieve.

You cannot underestimate the power of proving it right, for that is the best she had done in her life yet

For exactly one year, she did everything that can be done, saving the money to buy reference books, work book, uncountable tuisyen just to tell you her spirit. But, what is really inside her that is burning, can never be described by words. It is very easy to strive straight A's for a top student. But being in the 6th class out of 10, then you can perhaps close your eyes and imagine it for real. Although many teachers seem to feel it was impossible, the narrow eyed she received, the unhelpfulness, she took it with open heart just for the very day.

She burried all the pain and bitterness only for the day to come

When it was almost there, she grab every single last second that she had, study and keep studying, revise and keep revising, do and keep doing, check and rechecking. She thought, untill her last breath, she would want to strive it the best for herself this time, just to twist turn back, to taste, the original smell of life. The fragrance of proper life.

The moment when the result was annouced, when everybody else is accompanied by their parents, her teacher congratulated her. She becomes the best 2 person in her class, 6A's 1B. When she saw the result sheet, a full lengh of sigh goes around her fast pounding heart. A great sense of disapointment for herself. Not very sad, it was still the best record in her family had ever achieved.

No matter how hard she tried...how good she strive in her life, only in the end she found out that she can never change the fact

Happily, she showed it to her parents. They are proud, perhaps. This will be forever a puzzle missing a piece. From her perspective of mind however, it was more unusual than ever she had seen. If you think they will not wear a smile on their face, then you are very wrong. They celebrated but like I just said, they were only wearing a mask that looks like it was already so long never been teared.

Few months goes with the attention she always demanded in her life. But as time passes by, water flows and trees grow, it fade away just at the right time. Almost without her realising, it was then, gone.

Although she failed for the best, she proved one fact that life will turn her forever like this

After all she had done, after all the spirit and working hard, after she had received the proud from the school, friends, teachers especially, that once thought it was impossible, after all the water splash away only to hope heat will be given in return, it was a big fat juicy "no" in her life. She cried herself so many times until it was numb. Unfeelingness anymore.

The feeling was like investing all the money she had, for a business that she thinks will earn more than a life, like many other same case. The answer was then found. It wasn't a simply answer. But answer for her life.

No matter how hard she tried...how good she strive in her life, only in the end she found out that she can never change the fact

Life is not as simple as that. It is far more complicated than what a pure and innocent heart can think or imagine. This, is the smell of her life. The unusual life.

written by,
Cheryl Tan

***HAHAHAHA, how how how?? I suddenly got the idea running through my mind to write this. I think this is my 1st piece of so SERIOUS hand piece. My god, i donno i can be this good...wahahah. NEHH, whatever you think, i've gone above my roof to express these feeling out! Lets comment and tell me whether you feel it is okay?

fAT so wut?

NOwadays...when people saw me, the first thing they would say is..

IM FAT ALREADY

I ask them so what?

In fact, I've gone really really fat. Guess im about 55kg plus now( before this 48kg). So what? ehehhe CAn you imagine i made all the effort to cut carrot, cili padi(again), mushroom, just to cook myself a fried rice 11.30pm???

yummy yummy! I had been enjoying food soooOOOoooo much these days. Eating a meal 2/3 hours once. Not eating because im hungry. EAting because

IM NOT FULL ALREADY

lalalalala~ i now am leading a full set princess life. Wake up, 1st thing i do,

EAT

After that, i will online, maybe tv, with snacks...it goes like this for 2/3 hours...

then when im not full already...the next thing I do...hehehe

YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!

Yeah, thats it! BINGO...EAT! THen, because im too full, and watching tv all the time, i will feel tired...and guess again what i will do?

SLEEP!

Wake up then again i EAT, and SLEEP and EAT SLEEP EAT SLEEP

THat then, i call it a day...How interesting rite?

hehehe please pray i won't die becoming a...

PIG!!!!!!!

I am heterosexual

HELP ME!!!

my friend and I, when we talked about lesbian and gay and sex stuff~ and he found out that im maybe a lesbian. HOW HOW HOW?

cause basically im not really attracted to guys! and I AM attracted to girls. Remember the "you me and dupree"? The part when wife seducing the husband? I find that part REALLY attracting! I donno whether im attracted to the guy or the girl! But i guess is the girl. You know, the girl wearing that kind of underwear is damn @#&^#$(*@#@# FINGER LICKING GOOD!

First, when Calvin found out that, i ask him how to prove? Coz people never know when they are lesbian or gay...

So, he sent me a picture of sexy guy, and ask me, do i feel like having sex with him, and i said no. Actually i thought that picture wasn't sexy enough!

Then, he sent me a sexy girl, and i told him...i don like this kind.

He then got REALLY worried, and asked me, then you LIKE WHICH KIND?

At first, i said donno, then i thought perhaps japanese that kind. He then sent me picture...but sensored. HEHE

And he suggested Angelina Jolie that kind? I said YEAH!! definately. So he continued to send me, Angelina Jolie's sexy picture...and i thought it was yummy.

CAn somebody (girl) PLEASE tell me this picture is very sexy? please prove me innocent~~

If i were, like he says, a lesbian, then probably i will say, im heterosexual. And its quite normal coz alot of people are. Is just that they aren't aware of it. LIke he told me when i said it to him, we learnt that guy like girl girl like guy is a normal life. THats why, even when a girl is attracted to girl, we don't find anything to be so amused about.

IM NOT LESBIAN OKAY?

Anyway, i warned Calvin to take good care of his girlfriend. Coz im very damn close with his girl friend. Sigh, he still claims that im a lesbian. FOrget it.