Sunday, August 21, 2011

THanks

Thanks everybody for the concern and support.

I need a help, to find somebody to replace him to go Sipadan trip with me. Just have to pay for the transfer name fee, around RM 400 plus minus.

Flight, accomodation and some meals provided together with snorkeling... 16 to 19 Sept. I really need someone to replace him, coz otherwise I will be staying in the hotel room alone.

I still didn't know how I should talk to my sister about this. She is pregnant...And only begining of this month I told her, 1 of my friend(male) is going and he will be sleeping in the same room with me. She felt really weird but didn't asked much. Before that she already suspected something weird because I kept telling her probably my friend will be going but when she wanna asked further I always refuse to tell her more details...I was so scared of something like this would happen back then, but I thought nth so bad could happen since we were going quite steady for the past 4 months...n who knows..

Now everyday she is pestering me about my friend's flight seat number and add on to luggage weight...

Most of you wanted me to just tell her the truth. I never told her I have a bf, and now I need to tell her I broke up and he isn't going anymore. Begining of the month I only told her add 1 more friend and his ticket is booked..

Haih...why I have to clear this mess?

Yesterday I actually requested him to just go this trip with me as a friend...so that I can finish with my sister...but he refused...


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Updates

I was so into proving things right that I got lost. I lose faith.

I am the best, I will succeed...I need to motivate myself more and gain back my self confidence.

Victory!!

I am so happy today. After all that had happened, I am a better me now.

Thanks for letting me know who he really is!

By the way, I guess he pester his ex so much, and talk bad about me so much to her, and in the end she said something bad about me, saying I was doing small action behind...

Nevermind....wish her best of luck. Some people just don't fall never know pain. Or perhaps he is really a changed man, for her? hahaa

She deleted me from her fb, I was jumping happy.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Temper

I will not lose my temper for the next 3 months...

I would like to challenge that!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Another turn in life...

Life once again hit me to the lowest...

The relationship went wrong, I would say it was because of me. My subconscious mind is controlling me too much, by the time I realized, its already too late. Life only got 1 chance. Once you missed it, its gone...

Understanding was not there, though I have no right to expect anything..

Life goes on. Just as it didn't hit hard enough, my work gave me a big shock, and it totally goes opposite of what I thought. It hit me real hard...I am scared to face my office tomorrow...

I am just so sorry for what happened to myself. I have no more energy to fight now. I will only do what I should really do, and let things go naturally and wait time to pass and heal all the wounds...

Life goes on...no matter how pain, how hard, tomorrow will still come.

I wish to be alone and to myself now.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Believed in Kharma

If I were ever right...
Guilt is the noblest revenge. There is good and bad in every human. Don't do too many harm to others until when 1 day you decided to be good, all the bad things you did comes back to hunt you. You know, you have a long bright future. You will possibly have daughter in future. If god can't punish you, god will punish people you love and treasured most. Can you imagine your worriness when your daughter is born? After all the lies to girls that loves you and treasured you? That kind of guilt will hunt you forever. The hurt you will have to bear seeing your daughter being punished just because of the things you did now? Exactly the same thing that you did to other people will come back to your daughter or to someone you loved, I am not cursing, I am sharing with you before its too late because I have been through this but nothing so bad of that sort. I hope you can be sincere to things and people around you. Doing good because you really wanted to. Not because you are afraid of bad things that will happen, in the end you are lying to yourself. Be sincere, god knows and god is watching. Face all the bad that you have done bravely, no more lies and no more harm to others. Find back your peace and conscience at the same time find back who you really are as a human. Don't blame anything for what you are today, we are responsible to our self conduct. Every good and bad done will be accounted wihtout any excuse.
You can't make sure you are always being spared by good energy around you in your entire life. You have many years more to go, it is impossible that your life will be forever like now. When you are not as rich as you are someday, when everything start to turn down...
I may have sound like I am cursing you..But my intention is good, I don't have to convince you or anybody to believe me. I do not want to revenge or wish something bad could happen to you. I sincerely wish you can repent. Whatever you will become in future, it is none of my business. I don owe you anything, I treated you sincerely, although I may not have done good enough. I may be silly or stupid, but what I do is what I really wanted to do. I am happy with everything that I have done. It is really hurting for me, but this few months means nothing compared to 20 or 30 years to come. I am glad of what happened, be it real or not, I am happy this few months.
Thank you.
Only if I were ever right...If not, you can just read it as leisure.