Camp - BP

The amendments for lack of updates... 38 photos...


Day 1 - 5th Oct 07 - UTAR - PD

Stuffs that dedicating committee members brought...

In the bus..
Ivan showing off his dick...


The faithful committee members...having energy still crazying for the 1st day...
At girls chalet cam whoring before activities starts! I donno how and why, it is said to must have a opposite sex's corpse lying still counted as picture..

So there it goes, our beloved Arveen kindly acted as corpse...


Before the 1st game starts...

teckteck writing love letters to "Im-not-sure-who"

Leslie thought he won the treasure hunt, when he found the so called "black-pearl"

Day 2 - 6th Oct 07


The day starts with jungle trekking...
The obstacle, KK nicely giving a hand to Arveen...You know la...she abit hard to balance @@

The jungle...

THe bushes...It is said that around these area...ther e is a well...but till now I have no idea where~~

We actually drank this water..it is said to be able to cure any sickness as long as you believe it...Well, a little story here...I wasn't feeling well for the fast day..internally heat, having horrible sore throat, I can't really talk and was emo-ing the whole day. PLus, I was having diahorea(how to spell?) ON THE DAY OF THE CAMP! F*CK UP rite? Yeah indeed...but after drinking this water, or maybe the "cap ibu dan anak pi pa kao" works...I donno, after drinking these...I was jumping and damn happy...hahaa BELIEVE IT OR NOT?

I wrote that ler...so proud! It stands for Career Development Society...

Cam whoring...
Rumah Api Tanjung Tuan...
The jungle trekking ends...
We didn't take much picture on day 2 because most of it involve water...of coz I don wanna risk my T100...

Yeap, we went to the beach...it was so fun, although the water is damn dirty. Anyway, so of the guys got FOC ass polish with the sand on the beach. I bet their ass is much smoother till now..haha


Crazy people...

The fantastic BBQ dinner...didn't get to really enjoy it though...were having discussion somewhere around, thats why didn't take many pictures...
Best actor awards...Comittee were forced to come out with a sketch also...


The overly commited participants...he got himself injured during the act...poor Kent...

Day 3 - 7th Oct 07

Post mortem...where we confess our feelings for this camp out...it was kinda a emotional session for me~ Afterall, I have put in alot of efforts organizing this camp...

Part of the girls...
Group picture

The big big feast after 3 days of awful food...
"tai kors" of CDS...
Friendship remains...Spirit burning...

***This camp is special to me, because the commitee plan it from the 1st second till the last. Although it may not be as successful as expected, it is a great lesson and wonderful time we had.

Times Square - Shopping

Went to shopping and saw this...
Its very innocent...love this picture...


When i got home, hippo was showing me this face...he was so angry that I haven't come back for almost 2 months!


He emo with me for exactly 1 hour!! Don't want choy ngo lerr~~
I went to Nabila's raya party...It was fun having to meet old friends up...


Even happier to find most of them are so much fatter...same as I do~ wahahah

A few closer ones...
Sihin, Jeaneatte, Cheryl, Nabila Jasman, Nabila Saat, Christine, Rabita..

Btw, its so funny when we were bidding goodbyes, giving hug and all...we actually said, "Kahwin mesti jemput.." to almost everybody.

Haha, Its kind of weird coz we doesn't seems like somebody going to kahwin anytime soon...I just mean, we are still so childish~ hehe

Phew~ end.

Begin..

Every route you take...
when you think its an ending
it is perhaps
a brand new beginning...
when you think
its a beginning
it has actually just ended.

I don't like things to go out of plan. I will pissed off because I am not prepared on how can I handle it as perfectly as possible.

Sorry for not updating for so long. Nothing much to update n kinda lazy...so...don't expect too much.

Appreciate

Sometimes...

there are alot of beautiful things we fail to appreciate when it is happening.

But things are much more beautiful after it happened...

I like this pic the most...
Nothing is perfect...

But memories are...
cause memories tell us, imperfect things is a lesson learnt to let us walk even further.

Life is beautiful.

Middle

I once posted a post about being in the middle of the road...Its 6.07 in the morning now. I am too lazy to find that post out. I remembered it says about being in the middle of the road is the most dangerous place. Cars can be coming anytime. You don't know when you will be knock down and die. Its a place that people don't want to be at.

You remember "A road not taken"?

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Nobody like to be in the middle...but to choose a path, you need to see as far as you can. Sometimes we stand in the middle to observe before we make a decision. When I can't make a decision, I will choose to commit suicide. Coz choosing either way will lead you to an unbearable opportunity cost. So I would rather not choose when the situation is too desperate. When I couldn't take the pressure anymore...

I am not I

I am not I
I am this one
walking beside me
whom I do not see,
whom at times
I manage to visit,
and at times I forget.
The one who remains silent
when I talk,
the one who forgives,
when I hate,
the one who takes a walk
when I am indoors,
the one who will remain standing
when I die.

If you can't fight them, join them!

I've seen talented people being voted away. Being not able to perform....you are a NOTHING. This world is mostly about people liking you, you're in and then STILL, you are able to show.

If people like you, they can find every single bit of your positive points...and polish it..share it with everybody...add a little bit of salt and sugar...and make everyone else like you.

Same things goes when people dislike you...they can find every single little faults...polish it...share it with everybody...add a little bit of salt and sugar...and make everyone else dislike you.

if you are 99% good, people dislike you..they can share your 1% bad to everybody and keep that 99% within. Then everybody will start disliking you. When someone heard that bad stuff abt somebody else...you can't blame them to have bad impression on you and notice first that 1% of your bad when they are observing you. Its hyper natural they will then think, the information they heard its true and thus concluded that, you are not good although nobody in this world is perfect. How unfair? But thats the world...

Sometimes its not whether this person is good or not good. Its more to how many people like you or dislike you. Is on how smart are you to make people like you and how you manage the people with alot of influence power...so that he/she can make more people like you.

And then, still you are in, your ability are able, have chance for you to perform. Still, you are concluded capable. Still, you are respected.

When you are not on stage, you will not be judged regardless of how good you are... I hate to accept ugly facts like these...it makes me sad because i am not able to make this world more beautiful...I have no choice but to accept and adapt the cruel truth.

My personality test

Colorgenics

Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.



You need an atmosphere of peace and quiet and you would like to share a bond of understanding with the 'right person' - you have the belief that with the right person, your stress and anxiety could be minimised.



The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.



You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.



You really like doing what you do and, more than that, you like yourself. Your attitude to work and to life is that 'If its not fun - then don't do it'. You want to be liked and respected, not for who you are but for what you are - and it seems to be working.

This world is sick!

Did you guys read the news?

I summarized it here if you didn't...

A 5-10 years old child's corpse were found in a gym bag on the staircase of a shop lot in PJ. Suspected to be straggled to death. Well, thats not something extraordinary horrific. The highlighted part is, she was sexually assaulted, brinjal and cucumber found in her private part.

My goodness...NST have her big head picture in the website. Its eerie~

Nobody came to claim her body and the only picture the police had was her picture of death. (the picture keeps running on my head now)

ITS DAMN EERRIEE!!!! STUPID NST, PUT SO BIG AT FRONT PAGE!!

I donno what to say on this laa....last time i used to say, those crazy maniac people, it will be wasted if they just die like that. Throw them into the sea to feed shark at least they mean something to this world.

For this case rite....i think throw into the sea, shark also don't want eat laaa. Stain the sea only....I donno what kind of punishment he should receive still is enough laa... I think no matter how, i cannot forgive such people lor. SHE IS JUST AN INNOCENT CHILD laa...omg...

How can somebody treat a defenseless innocent child like that???

I forever won't forgive him i think...I cannot find any reason to understand a single bit why he have to do this...

I think she can never rest in peace. Frankly speaking, if i were her, i became a ghost, I will haunt him forever and ever. Mess up with his everything. Even after he is dead, I will still not forgive him. Still will haunt him...FOREVER. Goodness..i think that is still not enough...it can never be enough...

Maybe let his descendant...OH YA!!! Do the same thing to his own daughter would be the best. And the best thing is let him see by himself someone else is doing that to her daughter.

@@

Im sick too~~

How can i ever suggest that? If he is sick, probably he will enjoy seeing also. I am suggesting to hurt another innocent child...

Forget it...

Tomorrow FIM paper...crazily difficult. Ciaoz

3rd August, 4.25AM

I browse through my computer and saw this video. I think its very funny laa..the birthday boys couldn't stand still because they were drunk...

enjoy!

wordless

Hahaaa

Sometimes i laugh to hide my sadness...Hazel will be able to see through everytime when im doing that.

How do you feel 2 days continuously you got nightmare about your family?

1 was family business went bankrupt, sister who is now handling the business break down.
2nd was mum scolding you terribly don't know about what, the next thing is she got very very drunk because of you.

I have no courage to call home. I am afraid.

Just now when my 2nd sister online(who is now handling the business) I asked her, how are you feeling?

She said bad. Business problem, family problem.

She said business is enough to crack her head yet nobody is supportive in the family and mum is creating some more problems...and keep saying things to hurt us. (I don't expect anyone to understand this, so don't tell me after all she is ur mum bla and won't want to hurt you..she loves you guys...you are all her children...F*CK OFF...thats ur family, not ours!)

How do you feel when your sister told you she is going to commit suicide? She told me...everytime mum is messing around with her, she told her "u kill me laa" and she mean it. When I asked her, "you die, I how?".. she said, I will still have my 1st and 3rd sister... How do u feel when she told you all the family problems that you don't know how to solve? When u r part of the family...?

Have you ever felt the feeling of helpless?

I feel like crying. Nobody will understand what we are facing. ARGG... Its too long for a story to tell...too personal for a listener can feel..

Although she felt better after we talked, after i console her and being supportive...but....im speechless after pretending strong in front of her, acting as if everything its ok...

I wish I can cry things out...How strong am I to take this?

I felt lucky that I am away from home. I am still coping because I only listen to these once in a while, felt this feeling once in a while...I can't imagine facing and coping with all these everyday. I doubt I can... IS the meaning of home still the feeling of home for us?

-very emotional and sad-

Face it!

Wuhooo~~

I donno why somebody can understand me so well. Somebody called me for like 2 minutes today, and told me, stop running away from reality, face it!

All out of sudden, i think yeahh....all the while, i refuse to study, refuse to believe exam is near, refuse to concentrate....I just don't want to think exam is coming, refuse to know that i need to study. I refuse...

8 more days to my exam. I shall face it bravely. Start working hard from now on!

Its time to study.

I think i had played enough for the past few days. Nobody will believe what 4 freaks did day before yesterday. It was like a dream and until now even, i hardly believe it. Imagine 4 freaks go clubbing without planning to, then without bringing alot of money.

Ended up we tried 3 places before we found a place that our money can afford. Reaching at 1am++, the 4 freaks finished a bottle of Dewars, all neat. We played games, coz 4 people is too boring...and nobody wants to drink!
I donno why nobody was deadly drunk this time. Thumbs up!

We enjoyed the freaking night. Its a very special experience.

Lalalelu...its time to go back study. Good morning everyone, its 6.40 in the morning~

Fireworks II

This time is on Merdeka Eve, and its by Japan...

Its mesmerizing..I eww and aww most of the time. During the work, I step back behind(not exaggerating)....the ball stays on the sky for like more than 3 seconds, and it falls slowly...it seems like really gonna fall and burn you...I step back...and then I was laughing at myself...(luckily none of my friends realized~~)











During the ending, my camera can't fit the screen....imagine how big is that...I've never seen such a nice fireworks in my entire life. And I bet I won't have many chance in future to see this kind of captivating work.

Its a good competition. We enjoyed...



Pic with myself...Happy birthday Malaysia!

(I took 3 hours+ to update this post!!! @@ 7.20am now!)

Die la

2 more weeks is my final. My brain refuse to cooperate, and my heart wanting-to-concentrate level is very low. It fails to convince the brain to work, and it is being dominated by the brain.

Both don't wanna study....

Im so demotivated, I am so lazy for everything....at this moment, I don't want anything...nothing is important anymore....

All my brain want is sleep. Coz I can't go out, i will feel guilty somehow. Whats the different anyway? It just refuse to study.

My brain is closed, even if i sit down there, reminding myself to concentrate, I read a sentence and only the sentence goes inside, then came out. Meaning not understood. When this happen(it happened everytime) then when I start doing question, 3/4 of the question i will not know how to do. Then I will claim its very hard.

Anybody can tell me what should I do?

I tried to identify the problem. In the begining i thought it is because of my improper sleeping time. Very hardly day before yesterday, I turn it back. It don't work.

Then today, I thought maybe is because of my empty tummy. 1 day 1 meal for th past 2 days due to improper sleeping time.

TOday, i ate 3 meals. Now, it still don't work.

Tell me whats wrong? Im getting pissed...

My brain is like dead!!!!!!!!!!! It closed!!!!!!! GRRRRRr

Fireworks

Yeap, I went to watch fireworks, by Italy this time...All the way to Putrajaya @@


Look at the amount of people, getting their camera ready...

And the journey pays off...










Picture with friends...
Wohoo...i had video 20 minutes on the fireworks...but saddening issue is, the file is too big. Youtube can only accept 100mb, while the file is like 500mb. Sad sad....the video is freaking nice!

I try to upload it here...donno whether it works..




Anyway, while i said i was going to be busy studying....I read this. Hahaaa Its just simply irresistable~~

Winning by losing

Many times during arguments, we run away out of objectives and argue for winning. Its normal. Most of the human want their dignity. When we were threatened by somebody better than us, we want to prove we are better instead. We closed our mind on listening comments, we want to convince the other party that our way is also okay...

Once he/she is convinced, we felt satisfaction, achievements and in another way, we won the fight.

However during the process, nasty arguments occurs. Relationship were harmed.

If we can win by losing out first, agreed with the other party, let him/her have their dignity, then try to persuade him/her to consider also your opinion, other alternatives, why not? If he/she is wise, and his/her dignity is given, she won. But if you step back and look at the overall picture, perhaps you will win. Probably she will try your way and it is achieved happily without hurting the relationship.

When a person wanted to win so much, you let the person win by not fighting. He/she will felt meaningless winning. Therefore he/she will feel meaningless fighting over nothing.

1 hand claps no sound!

Survive the way you like

African kids have no food to eat, diseases everywhere.
They are living.
Bill Gates is able to enjoy every luxuries he sees.
He is living.
Somebody out there suffers kidney problem, he/she needs machine to survive every 3 times a week. They are suffering so much.
Yet, they are living.
Babies lie on the bed, sleeping, shitting, eating.
They are living.
How many thousands hundreds people lose their loves one every day.
They are still living.


If you can be happy now, why sad?
If you can love, why hate?
If you can cherish what you have, why complain?
If you can smile now, why frown?
If you can stand up after a fall, why remain on the bottom?
If you can succeed, why do nothing?
If you can look forward, why not?

You can't choose your life, but you CAN choose how you gonna lead your life.

Achievements-Responsibility

Achievements come after responsibility. Responsibilities come after achievements. You agree with this?

We talk about the negative first...
There is 1 of your colleague that has not much responsibility. She only work within her job and probably didn't perform her job well. WHY? BEcause she thinks,

"got me no me, the project will still run, the company will still earn money and most importantly, my pay will still be the same.

Cause the responsibility is not fully given, or passed down.

Without me, somebody else will handle it for me. I am not reliable because there is somebody i can rely on.

Even if i work out of my square, or now, conveniently and easily i work inside my square, the cycle will still be the same; project still run, company earn money, pay still same. BUT I can be more relax. So why making my head bigger when i already have family to take care, kids to raise...etc?"

Therefore it is concluded that achievements is not felt.

No achievements, no motivation and no motivation leads to no responsibility.

POSITIVE :
Today this project is handled to me. If I didn't work out of my square(for eg : working on Sunday), my team will not be able to perform WITHOUT ME. Then, we will not be able to satisfied the buyer(that comes on Sunday) and....what will happen then? OMG, we(because of I) will lose the buyer...the company will lose $1 million. GOSH~ no no, I have to go.

Responsibility is caught.

If I don't work out of my square, "no me, project don't run, company earns lesser money"

-end-

Not everyone is filled with responsibility in nature. Maybe you are, but you cannot expect everyone to be the same as you. HOW to stimulate the responsibility?

Observe human behavior and reactions and study management.

What I think now:
Dealing with irresponsible people, dig out their responsibility by failing 1 project. Teach them a lesson by hitting them with a "because you are not here, or because you are not performing, the whole project failed!". Make them feel the guilt, dig out their responsibility.

Then, stimulate more responsibilities out from them through achievements.

Yes, is a risk and is a lost by failing 1 project. But i believe long run is more important. If your company can change an attitude of a worker, in future that worker can earn much more money for you, and by making him change, he will appreciate the company more, therefore he will probably stays with the company even other company hires him with higher pay.

Furthermore, company that manage to create better workers, if known, good workers will fight to join your company.

THere!

Something big happened in batu pahat this week. My mum purposely called and asked me, have I heard from your friends? She told me a very very very horrifying things~~

THere was this girl, being pilled by her friends in a VIP's room in a night ktv, and she took off all her clothes, naked, and then....

(I bet she donno what she was doing) she finger herself!

Her friends (guys), got really excited and high, pull out her finger and fingered her.

Worst thing is, its all videod and being spread around.

My mum said, those subordinate at my dad's working place told her, that this girl is very pretty, got really big boobs....ANDDD she actually got lots of hair around her thigh...

As if the hit is not enough...

He told my mum, yesterday he was at the pub. Somebody then show him the video...and at THEY(those bastards) at the pub, watching on the phone, as if not shiok enough, they put it in the projecter with wide big screen, and they watch it openly together with everyone in the pub.

I wonder how she and her family gonna face the society...

THose guys are so bastard rite?

Come to think of it, these thing(finger here n finger there) happened to so so many people. SHe is just being so unlucky and not careful that she is being pilled and videod... Now, everyone is discriminating her...

Imagine that accident happened to your daughter man!

Now the video is still being continuously spread around. My teacher from secondary school asked me whether I wan to watch. Out of curiousity I actually asked her to send me, but she didn't know how to send. Thinking of whats the use of watching it, I forget the idea right away.

To those who had the video, have a heart, please delete it after you kill your curiosity. Imagine this happened to your daughter!

Have a heart. Fill the society with love and care.

Noob/ A dream

************************************************
This afternoon, i was being awaken by my tears...

After 10 years my father passed away, i think this is less than the 3rd time i dream about him.

When i asked my mum why, my sister always dream of my dad, telling her to take good care of us(me n my bro), she said coz we were only 9 and 12 years old back... somehow he felt so guilty.

Mum said, dad will not dare to face us coz he left us with all the heavy burden. We were still too small at that time...

When i was dreaming about him just now, he stand there looking at me while i was crying...

I think he missed me after so long... :) But he donno what to say to me coz he was still very guilty. So he just stand there, see me a few glance. Coz he just didn't know what right thing he can say to make me feel better...

I once told him in my heart when my family was in a big big big mess years after he died...that i will never forgive him, cause if wasn't because he died, we won't be facing so many problems...

I donno...maybe those words just come out when i was so emotional...I think he can avoid the accident...and not die.

I am glad that he comes to see me. I've long forgotten how to call pa...I miss him. I wish I can see him again, not crying but telling him i'm doing fine and all the incidents build a stronger me.

Maybe i shall accept the fact and let bygones be bygones.

I love you, pa.