Cons of blogging

Did i sound myself too arrogant, over confident in my blog?

Recently, the impact came...

People sending me warning messages...friend closer than same blood sister started to dislike me...even people deleted me as their friendster friend.

I spend quite sometime to digest all these happening. I knew deep inside, all these wasn't an emotional act by them. It wasn't as simple. I knew it can be simple if i take it as "THOSE CHILDISH PEOPLE" like I always did. LIke what i will usually do.

No, not this time. It is all too funny to be coincidence. I shall sit back, and think what I had done. What i had written. Perhaps all those were plainly an accident. But im not taking things as so this time.

If you notice, i haven't been blogging as frequent. I was holding back, afraid of writing the wrong things. A part of me were telling myself that, who cares? this is your blog, I am writing about my life... and i don't have to give a damn about people condeming me.

But still, inside, who don't want things to be perfect? Who don't want to be liked by everybody?

Im going to do some soul seaching about this...

Am i taking this emotional?

The point is...these people that did the small action are people so closed to me. I can't help but care what they think about me.

Thank you for giving me a feedback, positive or negative. Appreaciated.

Understand this!

Looking at the fishes in the pond
we saw the fishes swimming in the water freely
clearly in our eyes, without water, they will die
but living is like fish in the water
we do not sense the existence of air
like us living in the water without realising.

UN secure NESS

Its hard to interpret our feeling you know...sometimes, not sometimes, should be most of the time...we felt something but we don't know. For me it happens...

There is a feeling I realised that i felt most of the time. But i didn't know. I'll start to do weird things, normally i will call it as crazy things. And at that time, i will start to think im crazy. BEcause i don't do things at my will. Im unhappy for no reason and wanted everyone to ignore me. When people ignore, i felt empty. WHen people call, i felt annoying...and i will say things that THAT person doens't want to hear. All sort of hurting words...

But lucky that i realised what is it. Now i know.




Im afraid, very little inside, im scared, im lost, im empy, im feeling dangerous...So, i build up a wall, and start protecting myself in my own way.




:)

This explain, why last time I told Ron, that i won't love anyone so that no one can hurt me. :)

http://cheryl123.blogspot.com/2006/10/im-crazy.html

UNSECURE!

Since tiny, i had this feeling of unsecureness. HAH, since small, i cried like nobody business. I forced my mum to say "i love u" after she beats me or scolded me. If she don't say...i will keep repeat

" I DON CARE, YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"I DON CARE, YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"I DON CARE YOU MUST SAY YOU LOVE ME"

UNTILLLLL

she said it. Never failed!

I can repeat the same sentence non stop for 1 hour +
(my family still keep repeating abt this...laugh at me)

Another weird things i do when i was small...

I don't go to kindergarten at 1st. I will cry when my mum leave. CRY the whole school upside down. THen, in the end...my mum got no way with me so, she brought me back along. hahaa

If unluckily, my dad found out, i will got beaten again~ POOR ME!

Am so happy to understand myself more.

Thats why people....

leave a comment, and tell me, you love me. :) thanks!

If not, i will start saying

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

"PLS SAY YOU LOVE ME"

KL @ Part 2 & 3

THe thing that we cannot missed....CLUBBING!!!!


WEnt to Maison last Saturday...

Darius looks like he wants to kiss me rite? hahaa~~ He asked me to get my ass off and let him sit actually~~

And i met other friends there unexpectedly... but didn't take picture...thanks to the 2nd round, upstair~ i got quite sober for that!....Flaming lamborgini was nice though...thank you..if you guys read!

After clubbing...

From left : Kengwei & gf(Li Sze), CHeryl, Winnie, Wendy, Nabila, Darius, Kanglok @ gf (Jye Chi)

Went to mamak and eat later...Nabila who didn't touch the alcohol got drunk herself with us...i was like asking her in the car(on the way to BRJ) "ehh...u not scared wan huh? sitting in a car with a bunch of drunk people and drunk driver~~"

That girl, cooly said "why scared? i always hang around with drunk people"

And she follows us shouting with the window wind down~~ @@

It was a fun night at Maison, music nice, environment nice, people nice, DJ nice...met friends unexpected also nice.

**********************************************************

WENDY WAS ROBBED AFTER THAT! (Part 3)

It was like this, WEndy's bf got really really worried (i guess) and insist to find Wendy at UM even though he lives at Klang and even though its already 4 sth in the morning.

Then, when he reached...guess its 5 something...they wanted to pump petrol for the car. Unluckily the petrol station was closed so they stop the car at the roadside...QUARRELING cum DISCUSSING about either sending wendy back to UM n he goes back OR they go pump oil then eat breakfast...

A few minutes then, 2 bikes with 3 person came over...1 bike park behind of the car, 1 park infront...

And that 3 guys said they are police...Wendy thought it was a prank...coz they were wearing clothes-not-police-look AT ALL!

So wendy's bf asked him to show Police ID...

And he sensed not right, then he intend to start his car engine, knock the bike and chao!

But that guy used his helmet and break the car window, tried to grab the key!

Wendy's bf was great! I meant it. I donno how, but he used his leg, kick that guy thru the window...GREAT ISN'T IT? (i seriously donno how his leg can kick so high~~)

THEN!

That guy used a spana to hit his head...

and they got scared...so gave him money n hp..

I was sleeping at the time...

they drove themselff to hospital in UM...

And wendy called...imagine i was SOOO FREAKING tired...i donno what she is talking

until...she told me her bf was hit by a spana in the head...and she asked me go UM hospital. Thats all the thing i can't remember after she hang off...coz i wasn't awake!

I wake Darius up! But he don wan to go...coz he donno wat happened i guess~

THen, i can't sleep...i was so worried..but im helpless...(i have no transport to go there), and i can't contact them(didn't know wendy's hp lost that time)

Luckily wendy called for the 2nd time. I was totally awake already...and asked her exactly what happened...

She said, she got no hp, and can't remember any number except mine.

By this time, I tell myself...i must forced Darius to bring me no matter what...

And i called him for like 5 minutes, and finally he wake up and fetch me ~~

FLY to UM hospital...

Counter say they are at there, there say they are at Ward, Ward say they are somewhere else..and we are helpless again~ STUPID HOSPITAL!

in THE END, Darius saw them thru a glass..

and they came out right on time...I saw WEndy's bf's shirt all covered with blood~~His eyebrow there stich a few..

Wendy was okay...

Gave them water, money and my handphone.

Grabbed some picture for here...thanks to Darius...he deleted! HMMMPP

And wait till their UM friends arrived from hospital...den we went back!

All the while in hospital...Darius was quiet, seriously im quite scared of him that time. Probably he is angry that i woke him up~~

KL @ Part 1

I met Johnsson Wee, the Project Superstar winner!

Conversation was like this:

(I walk to MAC, he was sitting there like very boring, just finish his make-up n jus ate)

(he stand up n shake hand with me...gave me a puzzled look)

me: errrrr....you donno me never mind...as long as i know you okay already...

John : huh....?

me : nolaa... just wanted to take a picture with you, ok ar?

John : Ohh...no problem...come..come..

(wendy came over to help us take picture...1st one )

*chi kit chi kit

John : see..see.......

me : OIIII wendy...not nice laaa

Wendy : ok ok take again...

*chi kit chi kit

John : waahh my make up very thick! but thanks anyway...(shake hand with me and another puzzzled look)

**I was wondering maybe he wants my name, but i thought it was a waste of time to tell him my name...LIKE HE WILL REMEMBER!

Me : (shake hand with him) *pause* Im Cheryl

John : okay okay..nice to meet you!

Me : hey, is there any chance that we can keep in touch?

John : err.r......

Me : okay okay...i understand...never mind laa

John : you can actually reach me thru my website u know? hehee my website address is www.johnfc.com (if i didn't remember wrong)

Me : okay okay...thanks ya!

-end-

Then i went to print out our photo....wrote my name, email and hp num behind...

and pass it to him!

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA

THE MOST HILARIUS THINGS I'D DONE!

not left not right not front not behind

I felt something. But I didn't know what was it. I tortured my brain and force it to come out with a word that can describe exactly what my feeling is. No. In the end, I sort of gave up finding the vocab. I give it a sigh. Perhaps, there is no word that can describe that feeling.

So, here's it.

HAIHHHHH

After so much we've seen, so much we've played, so long we've took, so much we've hope...

Life sometimes is pretty funny isn't it? I think most of the people out there knew far too well, UNTIL they are lazy argue-ing this already~~

Not right not left not front not behind. Not everywhere.

two roads diverge into a yellow woods...(remember this?)

What if, you won't feel any better choosing either one of the road? Can we just stand there, not moving?

Isn't it feeling glad for now is good enough?

( A little thoughts of the day. )

SAD

I don want to blog already...

Nobody comment except ROn..n i think he is giving me face because im his gf~~

SOB SOB

Say no more~~ i don wan blog already...

decided!

You guys spoiled me with 18 comments...then later throw me into the seas with only Ron commenting.

I hate you guys! So cruel...

Where is SHarman? where is WEndy? where is hazel? Where is jeff? Where is bryan? Where is anonymous? Where is everybody?

Sob Sob

Forget it~ Im talking to wall i know..

Although everybody kept telling me...No comment doesn't mean nobody read your blog..but you know..

SIGH

Nobody can understand the feeling of getting alot of commentS!! Although rationally, we know people have been reading...but still, comments are the steel proof that somebody is reading...you know...

ok~ i'll really forget it~ nobody is reading..

SobSob

I hate im woman

woman is sooOOOOooo crazy!

I hate myself because woman do things funnily. First, woman sacrifice for man! They do it happily without people asking them or requesting them to. Willingly, and they said in the begining that they are enjoying doing those sacrifices.

Then, one day, she suddenly wake up...feeling extremely tired. In her mind "WHATS WRONG WITH ME?" Wondering why is she making her life miserable...thinking...why does she need to answer his call everytime? Why must she be there when he wants her to? Why she needs to make herself so tired for a no-future? Why must she wait for him everyday? Sometimes even till dawn? Wake up early in the morning just to say good morning and BLA~!!!! (those are the things normal couple and stupid woman do rite?)

And what woman do, is...cancel all her activities to make herself available for man~~ What man do, is...continue his life's schedule~

Life, where got fair?GRRRRR

Woman wanted to complain. Yes we do. Feel lucky if your woman didn't complain! But most woman complaint. Smart woman bear the bitterness and swallow it all by herself. *AWW so bitter* haha because smart woman thinks what the heck? He has no fault. He never asked me to. So we the woman is left, wordless, become a crazy woman who likes to complain! ARRGG

What do we woman want??? We 1st say, we will sacrifice happily, then we complain! APALAH~!!!! I hate woman!

Can anyone turn me to a man? To have a woman treat me like this? haha~

*************************************************************
"women are from venus, men are from mars"

John Gray says, woman likes to compliant, and guy will offer solutions to solve the problem. Sorry we don't want solution! We only want somebody to listen to. SOMEBODY to share. Then, after all the complaints, eventually, she will feel better. (Yeah, i did feel better now)

When a man complaint, woman likes to offer unsolicited advice. This makes a man think he can't solve the problem by himself(arrogant I say!). When woman 'help' a man with his prolem, he thinks woman is underestimating him. Don't trust him.

**************************************************************

Thank you John Gray. Now i know...Woman just want to let man knows that exactly what amount of sacrifices a woman has done. To be appreaciated. YEAY woman really can count! Coz she don't want her sacrifices to be wasted. I mean, what is the use of doing it when a man don't know the exact total? hahaha CRAZY WOMAN!

Nothing Better To Do

NINE last things i just did =
1. last place you were: Sea View Restaurant ( hard to explain..last year sis wedd left over tables..if u understand)
2. last cigarette: NEVER laa...siao~
3. last beverage: chrysantimun (DONNO HOW TO SPELLL!!!)
5. last movie watched : World Trade CEntre
6. Last cd played: Jay's STILL FANTASY
7. Last bubble bath : what heck is bubble bath laa~~~?
8. Last cried: hmmm...should be 3-4 days ago
9. Last drink alcohol : awww...Long long ago...hmm last month?

EIGHT have you evers =
1. have you ever dated someone twice: yeah~ sad
2. have you ever been cheated on: YEAH~sad
3. have you ever kissed someone: bodoh...who dont?
4. have you ever kissed someone you regret: kiss only maa...what is so big to be regret? wasting time..so stupid
5. have you ever fallen in love: AWWW...DAMN!
6. have you ever lost someone: *&$#^Q@#$ im getting fedup with this section's ques!
7. have you ever been depressed: If im immortal...den i never...*@#)%#
8. have you ever eat a life animal: Nonono....i don even kill moisquito for goodness sake~


SEVEN favourite branded things =
People...talking to branded people makes me feel im branded too!
watch! qualities makes the different.
Wallet...because u carry them everywhere...
hummm...wat else?
wait wait...who don't like branded things if they have money? SKIP!


SIX things you did in the past four days=
1.More then 6...which to write? ONlINe, tv, sleep, talk on the phone, errr toilet? EAT? !!!!*#&(q*%#


FIVE things on your mind right now =
1. sleepy...
2. HIM!
3. HER
4. how to improve myself to be the best person in the world???
5. How to get thinner...


FOUR people you can tell pretty muchANYTHING to=
1. Hazel lorr
2. WEndy lorrr
3. Ron lorrr
4. Vivien lorrr
Can i have 5? eehehehe


THREE favorite colors --
Depends on my mood...i like colourful n sweet colour...Sometimes green, red, pink, blue...It will need to see on which object the colour is rite?


TWO things you want to do before youdie =
1. hmmm...bEING happy
2. hugs from everyone i love :)


ONE goal for this year =
1. hmm...Being love by the person I love always!

Name 3 things in your Bag/pouch/POCKET:
wallet, keys, thats ALL!

Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
Sing my lung out
Keep quiet in a quiet environment
Sleep

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis
Toilet, room, in front of pc!

Name 3 favorite fruits:
I like fruits...3 too little to mention. Every fruits? Somebody care to buy fruits for me? ehhee

Who are you thinking about right now?
Hummm...my prince charming...hahaha

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
my prince charming!

Whose birthday is next?
mummy!

What do you wish to do right now?
ermm...go back to tarc..sobz sobz

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
donno...pyjamas bought by mummy..

What was the last thing you ate?
dried guava

What color of shirt are you wearing?
White..

What is the closest item near you that is black?
The laptop im using now~ ahha

What do you wear more; jeans or shorts?
shorts...cooler

What song do you currently hear?
J'ay's ting ma ma de hua...nice song!

What was your dream last night?
A very very very sweet dream

When did you last go to the mall?
This afternoon, if Summit Parade Batu Pahat is a mall!

When did you last burn a candle?
Day before yesterday...i use aromatheraphy; Lavender to help better sleep.

When did you last see your best friend?
Hazel, when did i last see u? February if im not mistaken..

When do you wanna see someone you love ?
When i needed to be hug most! BTW, i see him everyday...he is sleeping now! Hippo la...hehe

IM hacked

2 days ago, midnight~~ i was on in MSN...

Somebody told me, he wanted to test something. I agreed because...

All i have to do...is answer to his few question...

I was boring at the time, so i agreed.

He asked~ Name me ur 5 best friends name.

2nd question, Your fixed line number its under whose name...

And thats for it.

He says, now, you remember this password... "ABCDE"

Then he asked me, NOw, you count 1 - 10

I counted...1...2...3...4...5...6..7...8..9!

What happened next, is my msn log out, and it says, it is log in at another place...

I was like *(mailto:$#^@#*($#(q)*&#q$&$# WTF???????

THEN, i remembered he asked me to remember the password, i typed and OMG

I was log in...

After that, i was not only a little furious..."MY GOD? WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?"

MY MSN PASSWORD WAS CHANGED?!!!

THen he told me "ehhh..go change ur friendster password...its too easy laa..hahha"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked him, WEEIII what else password do u know...

and he sent me a file...

www.hoobie.net/brutus

HE says, he knew all my passwords and id, EVERYTHING!

MY GOD...am i just willingly being hacked?

@@

<>

Girls' priviledge

"wake up laa...what time already now???"

"Im having menstrual cycle~~~ very tired wan you know...can't u understand"


"you room so messy..cannot tidy up huh?"

"Im having menstrual cycle...cannot!"


"so lazy...donno how to go exercise huh?"

"Im having menstrual cycle...not enuf blood..later faint how?"


"why everyday cook i-don-like food?...im having menstrual cycle...later i not enuf minerals how?"


"cut fruit for me..pls"

"you cannot cut yourself HUH"

"im having menstrual cycle...later accidentally cut my hand...will waste blood want!!!"


"why go toilet for so long"

"having menstrual cycle...go toilet very long wan..u donno MER?"


"who step on your tail today? A little bit lost temper!!!"

"I having menstrual cycle...very xin ku wan lerrr"


"Don simply throw things can or not?"

"IM HAVING MENSTRUAL CYCLE LA"


**CAn you imagine a piece of bread stays under, where you feel wet and dirty, 24 hours a day, 5days stick together with you? Worse still, your kidney and stomach feel uncomfortable and all the time you are worrying that it might leak out? WORSE is...you gotto wash your underwear, pants, bedsheet, bolstersheet if it leaks out! You know how difficult is to wash away the blood stain...and imagine if you are being SO LUCKY everyday~~~

It irritates people okay...Please give us the priviledge...

KORLIEN

i mean me... PITY me please...

2 days ago...

my mum cook chicken feet!

feet or foot? whatever~~ YOu understand...

1 day ago...

my mum cook MEE HOON SOUP!

Fine~~ all the food that i don like...nvm

TODAY

MY MUM COOK

PIG'S FOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ain't gonna keep quiet anymore...

SHE IS TORTURING ME!!!

I BANG INTO HER ROOM...

and say, "hey, maa...ni zai zhe muo wo si ma?"

"3 days straight u cook everything i don't like, 1 day chicken feet, 1 day mee fen tang, 1 day PIG FEET????"

"TOmorrow what u want to cook? My foot?"

GGRRRRRRRR

To Hazel

Treasure
is when we know we are losing it
Sad
is when we know we cannot achieve it
Lost
is when we know not what to do
Happy
is when we know we had done it
Regret
is when we know it will possibly turn out perfect if we do it bravely
Glad
is when we know we once have it
Sigh
is when we know life is ugly
Angry
is when we know not why it must be like this
Emotional
is when we hope it is possible
Rational
is when we know the fact that it is impossible
Cry
is when we know that we are so naive
Believe
is when we know we can do nothing more than that
Struggle
is when we want to believe life is beautiful
Strong
is when we think we can hide the fear
Weak
is when we can hold no more
Touched
is when we know somebody is there at least


:) Always sunshine after rain as long as you wait and don say give up. Friendship forever from me.

Love him!

I love him... coz he always know...

when to talk

when to beg me

when to shut up

when to hug me

when to kiss me

when to call me many times for no reason

when to get angry

when to lose his temper

when to sleep

when to wait for me for counless hours

when to look at me and say nothing

when to be quiet when he is blamed for no reason

when to say he loves me

when to pretend he is not there

when to dry my tears

when to look at me innocently

when to shout ...

Anonymous of the day

So I'm here. For the ANONYMOUS.

To those who don't know, this were his/her comments...

":(if i were you Ron (if i'm not mistaken, you are her bf?), i wouldn't comment on anything from now on.p/s: YOU ARE BEING PUBLICLY INSULTED:CHEERS: "

sent twice.

":)since when is it required to have approval before a comment can be posted? guess someone got scared of random posts. u've been publicly insulting ron (he's your bf for crying out loud), and i dare you to allow this if you have any dignity left in you. *disgusted*:CHEERS: "

sent twice.

On the tittle "miracle" posted on Wednesday, 1st of Nov.

I did not just look into his/her commentS and got myself angry. I did not. In fact, my 1st reaction was, asked Ron whether i have insulted him. Asked my friends whether any of my words have insulted Ron. And all answers given to me was negative.

After then, i smile...

WOW look!

Who is there to create such a mess in MY BLOG? so now everybody knows, why i name this blog "OWN MY WAY"? Coz i have my own ways...and if you don like,

GET LOST!

I welcome you and dare you back if you still have ANY dignity in you, to answer all OUR questions. Come on, you dare me, i POSTED ALL your comments...I mean all...including the same ones which you make it like you scared i won't publish! HAH

For your information, i set the comments to be moderated because sometimes people send the same comment accidentally for twice. I will only post 1, for that reason, it is moderated. And i never not publish any comment that my fellow readers sent. Purely because i appreaciate them. Unless they request for it.

Grabbing this oppurtunity, I would like to say alot of thanks to my fellow commenters...for the comments posted and cared that you guys have showed. Like I always say, throughout my life, the happiest thing happened to me will ever always be...

whenever I'm in trouble, my friends always stand in the frontline for me. Deepest thank you and big fat HUGS!

Im here, not wanting to insult that ANONYMOUS...not wanting to DEGRADE myself like he/she did. Im here, to request for answers.

By the way, i dindn't know or expect my blog can be this famous. I don't think many bloggers receive this kind of comments do they? Unless they are bloggers like KennySia or Xiaxue. Maybe i should upgrade my blog and see how many people read each day. Thank you for reading. Of coz, including YOU the anonymous who make an effort for this blog.

CHEERS!

She says...

She says...

"
Im nobody to be sad
Im nobody to ask why
Im nobody to request
Im nobody to stop

Im nobody to be jealous
Im nobody to be pleased
Im nobody to be missed
Im nobody to be called

too much to care
too much to consider
too much to sacrifice
too much for even a dream

nobody is to be hurt
nobody is to love
nobody is to hope
nobody is to cry

How can a train goes derailed
when nobody can made a mistake
How to say impossible is nothing
Like you say a cat can marry a dog

How to not struggle
when everything is too smooth for a r'ship
How to just feel numb
When everything is never meant to be

At the end of the day
she says..
the grass is greener on the other side
then she smiles and say "hopefully"
"

miracle

We always complain, that miracle don't happen. A sudden thought after some miracle happened on my life.

Miracle only happen when you don't expect it to happen.

We tend to take things for granted. Miracles are one of them.

WHen we demand too much...demand for a miracle to happen, even after it happened, we don't call it as miracle. So, its not surprising and nothing worth to be happy about anymore.

Life is full of miracle. Believe me.

Be a easily contented people...open up your hearts and it will happen on you!