I wish to die

First, DOn't worry...coz i won die. To die unaturally is not easy. Don't ask me why. 1 day, when u have the urge, and feel like dying, just go ahead and do it. See whether you can do it. Then, you answered to your question.

I wish so much that i can die like Steve, the crocodile hunter, died doing what he loves and almost instantly.

Always i said, my family isn't the kind of family i wanted. How i wish i wasn't bornt in this family. How i wish my father hadn't died of that way. How i wish my sister haven't divorced before. How i wish she didn't get herself pregnant and forced to get married at a very young age. How i wish my family haven't expect so many things for me. How i wish my family didn't expect my life to be perfect. To be their ideal daughter. Or maybe to be their puppets.

I know they will be very sad if they saw this. BUt i seriously hope 1 of them will see this. They will cry? What is crying compared to my suffering all these years? How many times I cried because of what they had done to me?

Im telling you, i hate my family, i hate myself. Im so exhausted.

I wished I got the courage to shout back at them telling them my situation. Make them understand things that I am always keeping inside, bearing the pain, crying dark inside my room, taking their excuses...coz i know they can never understand or never want to understand. Coz whatever i tell them, in the end, when my logic is all right, they will use the most idiotic EXCUSE, WORRIED..

They will end everything by using that word, and making me no choice but PITY them and obediently do the things they want but I DON WANT. WHO IS THERE TO PITY ME?

I really wished I can die. From today onwards, my birthday wishes will be, hoping i will die immediately. I hope there will be chances for me to see shooting stars and i will wish i can die instantly.

not allowed to comment! I don need anyone's pity!