Friday, March 28, 2008

Strive it with no boundaries

This post is specially dedicated to Tarick....our ex-programme head, who resigned.

He resign because he doubts my ways of accounting the budget. Coz the event, all losses will be beared by the committee. The Uni will not be held responsible for it.

Today we make approximately 4ks of profit. Here, I have something to say.

Earlier, I did not said anything, because it was not proven. Now, the figures prove us right.

Tarick bang us again and again on our budget, and calculating that we might incur losses, and convince the committee that we are student, we are unable to bear to losses. He wanted us to use his way, but we have not enough time for that. Some are convinced. Some believed by working hard together, as a team....that can not happen.

Perhaps we are lucky? OR.....

Perhaps we are not?

Is anybody willing to accept that we are not lucky, but we believe and we work hard?

No matter how bad is the situation, as long as we are determine enough, we work together... impossible is almost nothing.

Here, I would really hope somebody learns, that instead of wasting time thinking of problems that might occur, we should be doing what should be done to avoid problems from occuring.

Not keep thinking of the problems until it stop us from moving on. Probably that problem would not have happen at all. Coz we have avoided it. That will then be a big waste.

Yeah...perhaps we were just really being lucky. OR....

Perhaps we are not?

Post Mortem

We had a post mortem for our event just now. It ended "luckily successful" like what Jason had said. First, the committee should arrive early. Not just those committee who are involved. The programme was a mess. Public Relation and security department didn't coordinate well.

As for the banquet manager aka Student Representative Chairman.....I have many to comments.

First, lets understand that the FAM social night, is under Student Representative Committee (SRC). Lets name the SRC chair as MONSTER.

In between the event, our banquet manager resign due to certain reason. So, our Monster, according to him today, that HE became our banquet manager since nobody wanted to do it. He said, "nobody wants to do it, so somebody has to do it"

So what I understand is, we should treat him as our banquet manager, not SRC chair.

He suggested to oversea the whole Programe dept, including technical, programme, stage.

Because he is SRC chair, so called the "biggest" in our faculty, he thinks he is the biggest and everybody needs to follow him.

He never understand that, in this event, he should report to the chairman, coz he was only a banquet manager.

So all the decision on that day was made stubbornly by him. Even the programme manager have no power to speak.

Today, people question him about this. He said, he IS the SRC chair. Even when everybody said he shouldn't be so, he said, "in the end, the chairman will still have to refer back to me"

that was very shitty.

First, he is over confident. Very arrogant. No sense of respect to the Chairman. And extremely stubborn when it comes to making decision. Frankly speaking, I seriously dislike him, EXTREMELY.

I donno how in hell he can become a SRC chair. Earlier on, when the chairman complains to me about him, I thought they had personal problems, thats why the chair is bias on him. I think its too late to just found out that, the personal problems come from his problem. The chair actually requested me to oversea the programme dept, I thought Monster can handle it well, and he has no problem....so i letting him be. I am sorry that I misunderstood our chairman. He is indeed a very hard-to-go-with guy.

The worst thing is that, he cannot accept ppl's comment, although all had already agreed that he shouldn't be acting so. After all the bing bangs, he still can say, at the end of the day, we did the right thing. I feel really fuck up with that.

That include the incident with Christien. I am really sorry to Christien to had people like him to deal with you, Christien. I don't know what can be said. But I already shooted him kao kao for what he did.

As I promise to myself, I had made him so disgrace in front of everybody. Its true as what I had said in the post mortem, it is ashame that UTAR has a student like him, somemore as a student rep. He throw away UTAR's reputation. BIG TIME!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Weird

Its weird.
Never thought I would have this feel.
I wonder did somebody feels the same thing as me.
Its sour plus abit of happy.



I am not regretting
Im just feeling weird...
I saw through action someone feels the same too.
Or am I thinking too much?

Oh girl...
how long have this been?
How can a person overcome this alone
without letting know of me...

Someone is just too good to be true.
I missed it.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A her

She is one of the society's chairman. From the very 1st day, when I went into the "welcoming bash", I not jokingly doesn't look good on her JUST by the way she gave her speech. I am not trying thinking so highly on myself. But i was the president for Interact, and deputy for council. I do not dare to say I am good, I can say am I slightly more experience coz I have seen alot and alot of leader.

I doubted...how can she become a chairman when days were gone. Deep in my heart, I believe people chose her for a reason. and yet, I can't figure out. Alot of people under her are better compared to her. But....I was waiting patiently for an answer to come, none.

Again and again, she prove I was right. Today writing this, I am not afraid that she might come across this. I think a good leader will have to face the comments bravely, not blaming but to THINK! whether the comments make any sense.

I was her "shadow comm" sounds bad. I donno whose idea, but that was suppose to be something to be PROUD of as the society's member. When we were informed to meeting, we were most of the time being shoot, scolded at. Regardless of how much we have contributed, no recognization was given, we were there for meeting basically just to listen to their decision. Bad things, we were ALL scolded, good things, i think we haven't been praise, do we?

2 weeks ago, she said, "this time the shadow comm is so bad, all didn't want to attend meeting, I think I am blind chosing you all as shadow comm"

today she said, "then if u guys are not committed then y u all came n join shadow comm?bull crap so muc but cant do anything"

She never ask herself, why people chose others as priorities, rather than attending her meeting.

We had been her shadow comm for almost 1 year by now. Previously, we were not given a chance to handle a proper position. I tell you, I feel not trusted.

To me, its ok whether the people is experience or not. Nobody are born with experience. As long as he is willing to learn, sacrifice and interested. Having said to this, an example...you willing to have a kid that is genius, but very lazy...or you prefer a kid that is stupid, but willing and eager to learn?

Then, slowly...interested in holding event people, get involve in other societies, coz they provide us better chance and appreciate us more. I myself felt that we are given better exposure and challenges there.

So eventually, we shifted outside. UNtil today, when they gave us a place as a moderator, I am now so busy becoming as a treasurer in another event until I can't handle the position she gave me, as a moderator.

Saying this, I am not underestimating the position as a moderator. In fact, I can't handle that position...I got to admit this.

Stop crapping me about "heart" in that particular society. Face the world girl, this is a reality. People who are interested in doing event are ambitious. Ambitious people when using in a right way will be a useful right hand man or a good leader. Ambitious people cannot wait for a year, when they are offered better offers, for your small positions.

Today, she said, "since all shadow comm are not committed..."

If this is only pointing at me, or the rest who responsibility for messing up the forum, then its alright. But she is saying ALL. GIRL, you don't put the blame on everybody, when problems occurs.

GIRL, you are definately not so naive to expect everything to turn out smooth, for an event to happen. GIRLS, we make event to learn to solve problems. Especially problems that are not expected and you were given a very very limited time frame to settle it.

We learn this so that when we were working next time, we are calm, we can think, we are able to solve the problems without getting sack, or bearing the-can-be-avoided consequences. GIRL, in Uni, this is a free lesson for us.

In the real working situation, we were always being challenge the impossible. Your customer force you to give a lowest price, with limited time for goods to be done. Your boss give you limited budget and perfect work. If you can't, then you are out. The world does not only have only you 1 supplier nor you 1 worker. You don't challenge, you don't grab, then you lost.

I hope somebody grab something from this entry. THanks for reading.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

stress

I remembered once i told kelvin, I wasn't the Cheryl he used to know anymore. If I told him what I had been doing, he will be so disappointed with me. Yeah, I told him from the bottom of my heart.

And from the bottom of his heart, he said, "girl, everyone has her ups and down. I will not be disappointed with you, just by judging you at the time that you were down."

GOSH, I was so touched when I heard that. Yeay, I almost cried.

Its 3. I can't sleep.

I just did something so irresponsible. Maybe its responsible? It could be an excuse.

Well, I had accepted an offer as a moderator for a forum next week 2 weeks ago. My big event is on this weekend, which I will be so busy getting the income statement done by next week. I knew I will be busy. I reluctantly accepted the offer which it shouldn't happen from the begining. However, I did ask them to find a replacement if possible, nobody took it seriously.

For your information, what I understand about a moderator is that, somebody who controls the whole situation. Especially Q&A part, when nobody ask any question, the moderator will have to come out with question, spontaneously or by asking question inside the answer given by the panelist. At time when a panelist speak too much, you will have to stop them politely.

Also for your information, I had never been a proper emcee throughout my whole life. I never thought I can be a very good one for I am just a virgin emcee. Somemore is so challenging, not just reading your script. Somemore I am going to be so so so busy throughout the week, which makes me so have no time to practice or do some further research on the topic.

Thus, with all these "excuses", I am giving up all the effort I had did in the society, risking to be black listed, as I have just send the irresponsible message to the chairman of the society.

I am regret for accepting the offer. Regret for dragging it so long. Say whatever you want. I think I have my reason doing this. I hope 1 week time its not overly late for a replacement.

I am introducing Ian to them. I think he can do so much better than me and its kind of a good exposure for him since MIA president is one of the panelist. Ian, I will be so so so so happy if you can do me this favour if they approach you, coz your number was given...weehaa~ u are welcome to screw me :P Anyway,I really think you are so eligible for this.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Hii

Yeah, i know...I haven't been really updating...no need to remind me.

The past few weeks was really busy.

Our event which will be happening on this sunday, had almost drawn to an end by now. 4 months preparation...I can almost summarize everything out now. Its all like a drama and at the end of the day, moral of the story learnt. For one thing I wan to salute to the chairman, is his spirit of never give up. No matter how many people resign, how discourage the situation, the financial status, the people....I think most of the people, including me, will not have it. Its risky, yes...true...though what is not? Close our eyes for his leadership and judgement.

At the end of the day, I am really really very glad that I did my job quite well. Of course, that is not my work alone. At least, we are not making losses and earning quite a sum of profit. FOr the rest of the part, I think that is none of my business. I almost gave up in the middle, it was too tiring plus the management of this committee truly sucks. It can't be worse, I am not exagerating. It is very much on self satisfaction. I think I did what I can, and my part turn out to be so much better than anyone had ever expected.

Lets call it a day...i am very tired...

Friday, March 14, 2008

For sale








Im selling this only for RM 40. Never use before and its in perfect condition! Originally planned to give a friend as a birthday gift. But somehow, didn't get to give. Any inquiry, shoot me.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

The once believed

Having had the last post...I remembered again what I used to believe...

Last Sunday, my bf found out that he got chicken pox. I haven't had one, but injected when I was young. I brought him to visit a doctor, and the doctor said there are chances that I might be infected although I was injected. It does not guarantee. After getting to know it from my friend that drinking 'cold' drinks will recover faster, i boil for him every single day.

I ran shops to shops seeking for better advice although I was not feeling well that day. The first day was without intention. The 2nd day was because of the first day together with a bread that he likes to eat. The third day was a puzzle. During the fourth day, I was questioning myself, why am I doing this. He said he likes to eat the bread so much and the bread had just finished. I purposely went and sent to him again. Although quite frusfrated with myself, I gotta admit that this was the silly-est thing I had ever done to any bfs of mine. And undoubtedly, he is the treat-me-worst bf I had had. I kept asking myself why the hell am I doing this. For him!

I started to get worry. Very worry of my intention. I am seriously worry. Am I seeking for another revenge? Coz boiling barley every day is a no-no thing to do for Cheryl. This is simply not me. I think I am trying to make him so guilty that he regret treating me not-good-enough and then, I would dump him simply because I can really find other better guys easily.

Thinking of boiling barley for a guy every day when he is sick can easily make any better guy fall for me dyingly, I think I deserve to be treated better. That could be my intention. Today, the barley was boiled like a casual thing to do.

I came back from Jusco buying 1kg of barleys and 3 packets of rock sugar. I was feeling extremely tired as today is our mid term. Monday another mid term. When I was blowing dry my hair, looking at the mirror, I asked myself again, why am I treating PEOPLE good.

I suddenly remembered then, what I used to believe in myself. My cousin told me a few months ago, that treating him good equals treating yourself good. Sometimes, words are meant to be felt yourself.

"treating people good equals treating yourself good"

No matter who deserve it or not, you feel happy treating people good. It does not matter how or what others do to you. It is how and what you do for others. :)