Tired

Some ppl keep making noise that I didn't blog...

Life is really tiring here, I enjoy time with my colls, they are really friendly and helpful people. Working is more enjoyable now, lesser mistake, but still so sotong...able to complete job faster...

Financial still very tight, really hate this feeling, and AM GOING TO END THIS reall real real real soon. The last time I feel financial insecurity was 4 years ago, when I first started at KL. Now in Singapore. Even my savings in Malaysia needs to divide by 0.4255.

Reach home late everyday, either went out with colls or work overtime. Then so "bu-shuang" to sleep right away, so ended up sleeping like 11.30 or 12. Woke up 6am everyday. So I only slept 5 hours a day...

So many things undone. Just completed the exemptions from CIMA, going to execute the plan to do part time study on June. Life will continue to be this tired for 2 years. Im going to get used to it.

Of coz I miss times when I was studying, but missing is not going to help. So I shall look FORWARD rather than backward. I never think I am very young. Although many people are telling me this...to have NO working experience at 23 is rather late for me. Lots of plan come in mind, like which year to get married, to have a house, car, babies....

It freaks me out. Can somebody catch up with what my mind is thinking ahead? Too many uncertainty...

Pride & ego

People whom really know me deep inside would have know im somebody so full of pride and ego. Sometimes even that im conscious that myEGO is stopping me from being happy, moving on, winning, gaining something, I would have let that be...

Its not good rite?

Im so stupid.. I want to change. There was 1 time becoz of idiot pride, I almost lose a best friend in life!

Im borned that way am I? I should be happier....why am I serving my pride? Not myself? Or me is my pride?

I gotto say sometimes my pride makes me working harder, being smarter....but does that brings me more pros or more cons?

THat, I will need to think about it.

Balance is almost impossible....Can I be impossible, to grab all the goods of having ego, and throw all the bad of having ego?

I have to be more cunning..hehe

What a Friday

This is Friday, I tell you Im lonely, sucks big time. I realized I have no kaki in BP. Anytime in KL, I can find ppl to accompany for chilling out. Ppl will not look at me 1 kind and ask, why r u so crazy.

Life is so different now. I wish to use all that I have to buy back time like before. Just 1 call, and friends are here.... Am I that desperate?

I drank 2 canns of Carlsberg and all this thought started to came into me. I wish to continue on(friend's wedding tmr, so partying at her house). But I had to fetch my sis back, again responsibility...so gotto go back. I wish I have a second round....I wish....

So i came back home, drinking another 2 canns myself...I wish my friends were here....I wish I had you guys...really...

Extra mile

This week is our company closing. EVery bi-annually we will have a closing. Yesterday I work till 11.40am. My coll n manager work till 12 sth...

I wish to go extra mile, to prove im worthy. But extra mile? Man, this is just not Malaysia! U wan extra mile? You have to work till 8pm almost everyday(like my coll in my dept) and if u really wan EXTRA MILE, you gotta be cleverer than your boss in your workfield. In my case I can be, becoz my boss only have experience with not much education. The only thing that she expects from me is my knowledge on costing. What we learnt in MADM, FIM and those. But I reach home 8pm everyday tired like shit, don't even have time for myself. How to find time to explore those and explain to my boss and try to apply on my company? Activity based costing? Its too early...although I've work for 1 month.

Extra mile?
Long way to go.....

I know all those are just excuses. Extra mile requires sacrifices without extreme reasonable logic....You just do it without much thinking on wat you will be paid for.