My change

I suddenly remembered 2 years ago, while we were on a trip at S'pore during Christmas, Orchard Road, there was an event at the road side. The emcee speaking through the mic half way, the mic dropped on the floor and produced a very loud irritating bang. My friend was really angry because it hurt the ears. He was scolding some bad words....then I soothe him, telling him that it is not done purposely. My friend was quite surprise...and then he said a thing that keeps me remembered until now.

He said, "...you always think other people very good wan horr...no matter what they do, they always have good reason from you"

Not just in this incident, 2 years back, I believed people will not purposely want to harm people. Everybody have their good reason doing bad things.

Looking through my recent post, I was taken aback on how much I have actually changed.

I can't accept something, can't believe a people closest to you can harm you too. I can't take the fact. But I had forced myself to take it. It is the long and slow torture. You won't die, but in deep pain everyday. It makes my world so grey that I don't believe what I used to believe anymore. I feel so alone, really alone, unprotected.

Now, everytime when I felt a little bit of threats around me, I build up my wall until it holds no more, then it collapse.

I no longer believe human are good. I just realized this. Its quite saddening. I want to believe it once again. I donno whether I will. People, give me a hug.