I Am A Spring

Always, we were complaining about this person makes me unhappy so and so...he betrayed me...he don't love me anymore..stuff like that...

While we were growing up, standing taller and taller each day...all those unfortunate events that happened, actually teaches us to take control of our own life. Your own life. When you are at the bottom line, leading a so pathetic life, you claim... you are like a spring that being forced and pressed to the lowest...eventually, amazingly, when you cannot take it anymore, you bounce back. Some spring spoiled...but most are able to survive. And then, you are free... (Im smiling when im typing the word, "you are free"). Did you survive? Will you survive?

This is what life teaches us. Not to let control. Instead, take control of your own life! Claiming your life so miserable is pitiable because you are not willing to change it. Accept the highlighted statement as a fact. Perhaps you haven't reach the bottom of your spring, if not, lead a happy life :) Why not? Unless you enjoy it.

Many times, things get out of control, we said. Thats because we can't manage to control it. How to take control? You'll find your ways when the situation is intense enough. When you have no more other ways out. When you are being pressed to your lowermost, it will become a natural reaction by human race. (The process can be much tougher than you imagine.)

Do you really have to wait until the situation cannot be any more desperate? Perhaps no. Perhaps yes. Leave it for you, yourself. :)

Life is about surviving at every happenings...how you celebrate your ups, and moan for your down...how you adapt to the changes of ups and downs...

At times, you revive, you stand by your fall. You held your head high and celebrate for more. Being stabilize by your ups, human forgotten once more the process of standing up again. The cycle goes round and round and round. You stand and you fall. You fall and you stand. You are so tired...You think life its meaningless. You become frustrated. Whats all the rubbish of this cycle? Feeling like giving up? You choose the path if you want to stand up again. It is meaningless UNLESS you able to not surrender and keep standing up. :)

PMS

Geee

I never believe PMS would actually strike me... Until when suddenly i seems to being *KNOCK* , awaken, "ehh....what have I done...this is so unlike me..." only I realize.

:)

I AM BACK! *grinning*

Calm heart

Gonna write some crap here...I didn't know human is so so so forgetful. Today you remember and you tell yourself this is an important lesson...and then, tomorrow and tomorrow comes...so many things happened then, and you forgot the lesson you've once learn so hard.

Maybe human brains are limited...there are so many things keep happening and happening at once...afterall, we are not flawless... :)

Anything, everything you do...you are accountable for what you do. As long as you are happy doing it, you think its right to do it, you do your best to achieve the outcome you wanted... then the rest is not for you to worry. Many things are not beyond our control. Sometimes we have to just accept it. Its unexplainable. Un-understandable.

How hard you will fall, at least you once hope.

At the end of the day, you will just smile to yourself, and said..." at least I've tried my best, i know"

:)

Goal motivation

When someone is blindfolded...running 1000 meters... without seeing the finish line...the journey seems unreachable...

But if you have chance to open your another eye, probably the line is actually just another step away...

When you are running so hard, harder and harder...when it seems unreachable...when you are at the edge of giving up...just when you are about to faint...you don't know probably your next step will be the line. All you have to do, is bear with it just 1 more second.

Imagine if you fainted just 1 step away from the line, when you finally saw it with your real eyes the finish line, how much would you regret..for you thought it is so much further...

"ARGHHH....if i know it is just 1 step away!!!"

Open your eye and motivate yourself.

Friend, buck up! You are reaching...

Believe

Before that, read "My University life" from Amelia...I really laugh out!

Yey!! The blogger me has come back! CHEERS...thanks for still being here...

I've written quite a number of post about believes. If 1 day I met a psychologist, the 1st question I am gonna ask him/her is about believe. A further explaination about believes, how to believe and the deep elaboration about this thing. Its so interesting yet mysterious at the same time.

Come to think of it. We were thought to believe in god since we know ABC. We haven't seen god and we are clueless about the existence of it. Yet, we believe it and the culture are being passed down.

Is believe a practice or what?

When you believe you can do it, you practice it, and by luck you really happened to make it? Look, before someone make it, he/she first have to believe he/she can do it. Yep, we knew this...but how?

(ITS SOOO INTERESTING)

For god, it is a culture that is being passed down by our parents, so it becomes a practice then it turns to believe. If lets say, ( i can't find a strong example @@)... for example, lets say...yaya I found it!

Lets say, your parents call you stupid all the while...scolding and yelling stupid at you since you were babies..it becomes their practice and you believe it. Maybe is by accident, or low in confidence that you did badly in exams, grade poorly...AND THEN, you are seriously convinced that you are stupid because you think its proven. You never even try to study because you simply think you are so stupid. Anyway, you've been called so since.

(that reminds me of Julie in the book Perfect by Judith McNaught)

Well, the truth may be that because you never believe you are not stupid, so you never even work hard or even pay attention in class...how you gonna score better unless you are a genius? If you don't believe it, you will not even give you yourself a chance to be better.

BUT, that idea of stupid were being implemented in your brains since you were born. And you believe it because your result are the proof of it. Of coz you are not aware that you never work hard thats why you did badly. Simply because at that time, you also believe that even you work hard, you will not do any better...BECAUSE YOU ARE STUPID. And then...the worse is, everybody else, your teacher, your classmates and people who knew you, believe you are stupid too because of your poor grades.

So you are even more convinced that you are stupid...And you concluded you are stupid.

Now you've seen the whole picture and you know what's happening rite?

The part I need help is, how to make this person(who believes she is stupid)...ok...lets just name her Julie, since I am taking that example...

So the question is, how to make Julie believes that she is not stupid. COMMENTS!!!!! Pls...think about it seriously...

Yes I AM!

I AM a rational thinker
I AM a strong person
I AM an optimistic human
I AM a cool friend
I AM a problem solver
I AM a confident lady
I AM a goal striker
I AM someone with objectives in life
I AM a happy girl
I AM a better me every tomorrow
I AM a loving me

I AM not mysterious
I AM believing people
I AM to trust human
I AM dare to change
I AM not afraid of anything
I AM strong in spirit
I AM not defeated easily

hahaa...at the same time~ I actually found out that I AM crazy also....

I really AM.

Lost

This few weeks I am so lost of myself. I am like being over ruled by something that is not me. Maybe the other me. I donno which is the preferable me or which will be the happier me. Though life have to go on...I know.

I thought I have the courage to lead a different life, to change...but just when a little tiny wrongs happened, I am defeated, I am being convinced that it won't work out, that I've made the wrong decision, and I shall stop now before it hurts further, before it is fixed, after I've changed.

So I gave up. Having in mind that the me before changing wasn't that bad also. Having unsure of what the future lies even after i changed. Having not to risk. Having to know, I should feel contented of what I once happily had, is enough.

When somebody have no confidence in doing something...it will surely turn out sucks! How will you success when from the beginning you never believe you will succeed?

I feel so defeated...I lose my courage, lose my confident, lose my dignity...

I donno where was the I...Please...come back!

Can somebody assure me what I've done is right?

-at the time when a human is down-

Camp - BP

The amendments for lack of updates... 38 photos...


Day 1 - 5th Oct 07 - UTAR - PD

Stuffs that dedicating committee members brought...

In the bus..
Ivan showing off his dick...


The faithful committee members...having energy still crazying for the 1st day...
At girls chalet cam whoring before activities starts! I donno how and why, it is said to must have a opposite sex's corpse lying still counted as picture..

So there it goes, our beloved Arveen kindly acted as corpse...


Before the 1st game starts...

teckteck writing love letters to "Im-not-sure-who"

Leslie thought he won the treasure hunt, when he found the so called "black-pearl"

Day 2 - 6th Oct 07


The day starts with jungle trekking...
The obstacle, KK nicely giving a hand to Arveen...You know la...she abit hard to balance @@

The jungle...

THe bushes...It is said that around these area...ther e is a well...but till now I have no idea where~~

We actually drank this water..it is said to be able to cure any sickness as long as you believe it...Well, a little story here...I wasn't feeling well for the fast day..internally heat, having horrible sore throat, I can't really talk and was emo-ing the whole day. PLus, I was having diahorea(how to spell?) ON THE DAY OF THE CAMP! F*CK UP rite? Yeah indeed...but after drinking this water, or maybe the "cap ibu dan anak pi pa kao" works...I donno, after drinking these...I was jumping and damn happy...hahaa BELIEVE IT OR NOT?

I wrote that ler...so proud! It stands for Career Development Society...

Cam whoring...
Rumah Api Tanjung Tuan...
The jungle trekking ends...
We didn't take much picture on day 2 because most of it involve water...of coz I don wanna risk my T100...

Yeap, we went to the beach...it was so fun, although the water is damn dirty. Anyway, so of the guys got FOC ass polish with the sand on the beach. I bet their ass is much smoother till now..haha


Crazy people...

The fantastic BBQ dinner...didn't get to really enjoy it though...were having discussion somewhere around, thats why didn't take many pictures...
Best actor awards...Comittee were forced to come out with a sketch also...


The overly commited participants...he got himself injured during the act...poor Kent...

Day 3 - 7th Oct 07

Post mortem...where we confess our feelings for this camp out...it was kinda a emotional session for me~ Afterall, I have put in alot of efforts organizing this camp...

Part of the girls...
Group picture

The big big feast after 3 days of awful food...
"tai kors" of CDS...
Friendship remains...Spirit burning...

***This camp is special to me, because the commitee plan it from the 1st second till the last. Although it may not be as successful as expected, it is a great lesson and wonderful time we had.

Times Square - Shopping

Went to shopping and saw this...
Its very innocent...love this picture...


When i got home, hippo was showing me this face...he was so angry that I haven't come back for almost 2 months!


He emo with me for exactly 1 hour!! Don't want choy ngo lerr~~
I went to Nabila's raya party...It was fun having to meet old friends up...


Even happier to find most of them are so much fatter...same as I do~ wahahah

A few closer ones...
Sihin, Jeaneatte, Cheryl, Nabila Jasman, Nabila Saat, Christine, Rabita..

Btw, its so funny when we were bidding goodbyes, giving hug and all...we actually said, "Kahwin mesti jemput.." to almost everybody.

Haha, Its kind of weird coz we doesn't seems like somebody going to kahwin anytime soon...I just mean, we are still so childish~ hehe

Phew~ end.

Begin..

Every route you take...
when you think its an ending
it is perhaps
a brand new beginning...
when you think
its a beginning
it has actually just ended.

I don't like things to go out of plan. I will pissed off because I am not prepared on how can I handle it as perfectly as possible.

Sorry for not updating for so long. Nothing much to update n kinda lazy...so...don't expect too much.

Appreciate

Sometimes...

there are alot of beautiful things we fail to appreciate when it is happening.

But things are much more beautiful after it happened...

I like this pic the most...
Nothing is perfect...

But memories are...
cause memories tell us, imperfect things is a lesson learnt to let us walk even further.

Life is beautiful.

Middle

I once posted a post about being in the middle of the road...Its 6.07 in the morning now. I am too lazy to find that post out. I remembered it says about being in the middle of the road is the most dangerous place. Cars can be coming anytime. You don't know when you will be knock down and die. Its a place that people don't want to be at.

You remember "A road not taken"?

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Nobody like to be in the middle...but to choose a path, you need to see as far as you can. Sometimes we stand in the middle to observe before we make a decision. When I can't make a decision, I will choose to commit suicide. Coz choosing either way will lead you to an unbearable opportunity cost. So I would rather not choose when the situation is too desperate. When I couldn't take the pressure anymore...