There are some people in this world, once they open their mouth to have a conversation, regardless of whether the intention is good or bad, they immediately turned the opponents’ defensive mode on. So whatever is said, whether it is an advice or for pure sharing purpose, people normally would not accept and they would think you are acting-clever.
But situation like this would not occur all the time. Some people that are eager to hear what others are willing to share. They are willing to put down their pride, admit to the mistake and listen to what others have to say. And in most of this case, they are willing to share more, get more, and buy the idea of another person.
In this 2 statements shows 2 different subject’s characteristic. But this 2 different characteristic are actually as of the same person. The only thing that is different is the person who is doing the talking.
We often put the blame on the subject when things like this happened. We said, that person is too ego to learn, or he/she is too stubborn, would not listen to what the elder said.
In fact I think, a good speaker normally put somebody in a comfortable mode, instead of defensive mode, Many people especially superior often meant good, but being perceived bad. Why? Some people have the ability to make you talk a lot about yourself even though you just knew them. If you think back, they are certain people that you did not know them very well, but you are willing to share with them things in depth about you that you would not even share to a person whom you know for 5 or 10 years.
And If the subject is not willing to talk more about themselves, and you are trying to help, how would you know what actually had happened that causes the subject to act so? The worse case is, the subject would just lazily agree with whatever that is being said, but the heart would be thinking, “what is this bullshit? You don’t even know what actually happened, and you think you are very clever, trying to give me advice? Get off~”
So, put someone in a comfortable position to speak what is of mind. You need to be open minded enough to accept whatever is being said. Don’t give over response because people are scared being perceived as abnormal.
Regardless of what way you use, the question is, when you speak,
how do you make people accept your idea?
THAT, is the final goal.
1 comment:
nicely said...
how to make ppl accept your idea as your main purpose.so what you need to do is to achieve your purpose.
well, sometimes the word we use will make a different. for example, how we use 'i', 'we', 'us'...
if all the time u r saying 'i' 'i' and 'i', your r concentrate more on yourself rather then that person.
our body language as well as our tone also make some different.
how we smile, eye contact as well how we place our hand...all these is important during the conversation.
lastly, i think if you understand your subject well enough, u will know what type of person is he/she. with that, you will know how to tackle it. if he/she is those type that like to feel superior, a simple picking up line, 'there is something i dun understand bout this, do you think you can help me?' will be good enough to get his/her attention to listen to you.
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