A lesson I learnt

Just a short one before I call it a day..

As much as you want to prove the things you said were right, so does the other party! In a disagreement, someone could be right. If a person must be right, another person must be wrong. So proving you right gave you the feelings of satisfaction. People tend to forget, it has exactly the same effect inversely.

If proving yourself right gave you satisfaction, it gave the other person dissatisfaction.
If proving yourself right make you feel you are cleverer, you are just trying to let the other person know he/she is stupid.

If we no need to prove him wrong, and let him/her find out themself, that is a win win situation. Just sometimes, it takes time. But if time is not a factor, learning ourself is much better than being proved wrong.

The real friends

I’ve discussed this with a few of my friends about this issue before. And after getting their feedback, I assume this theory is super right!

There are certain friends that will leave you after you have a bf/gf because they dislike people whom forget their friends after they have bf/gf. Some friends will get angry because after you have a gf/bf, you start to forget about your friends(they claim). Some will even let go of the friendship because of this reason. Stop helping you when you are in need.

To us, the question is, what is a real friend?

We have 24 hours a day. After minus sleeping, working time, own private time(bathing, driving, eating, etc) and others, how many hours do we really left? Can I say, less than 5hours? Besides friend, we have family. Do we really have enough time to have it all?

I think that is quite impossible. A gf/bf is somebody closed to us after family. And friends surely come after gf/bf. I assume a gf/bf is someone you will make them your family later ( I am not talking about those gf/bf that were just having fun, or those that you fuck around). So it depends on which one you treat as priority. Which type of life you seek as more important for your future. If you wanna spend next century of your life with your friend, then spend quality time with them, that’s understandable. But make sure your friend have the same goal as you, that they wanna spend next century of their life with you too! Which is quite impossible.

Back to the point.

To me, a REAL friend is the people that will understand what is important FOR your life. They won’t get angry when you don’t spend time with them because they understand that you are planning your future, for a happy life. But when you call them for help, even after not contacting them for so long, they will be there for you. Or even you don’t meet them after years, you still have many things to talk about, you won’t feel weird after not contacting them for so long. REAL friends UNDERSTAND what you need to focus in life, and yet, they are there for you, and you know it. They won’t let you choose between a gf or friend, because they know what is good for you.

Even if not so…Would you rather risk losing your gf/bf than risk losing your friend? If you can CLAIM understanding from your gf/bf, why you can’t claim understanding from your friends?

If he isn’t a real friends for now, even you keeping in touch with them, neglecting your gf/bf, they will only be there for you when it is CONVENIENT. They won’t help you when it is inconvenient. But talking about convenience, I think any people can/able to help you when it is convenient. To me, you don’t need to spend too much time, I seriously mean it’s a waste of time to spend time with these people. Time is so precious, so spent quality time. Be productive for your life.

When we wanna help someone or do something, we don’t just do it when it is too convenient. We would sacrifice to help or to achieve something we want in life.

I have plenty of friends like this, PLENTY, yes. Im so so glad, in life I make good friends.

Do you have any?

Life is quite fair. What you do now is what you will be getting back for return in future. No pain, no gain.

Time can prove things right/wrong...

If a gf needs to create a havoc to get your attention :

The caused of it is you don’t pay enough attention to her :

It could be because you are too busy to be in a relationship,

Then don't be in a relationship!

Or she could be an attention seeker, which all girls are!

Not to everybody but at least she needs the bf’s attention.

Attention is 1 of the human’s emotional needs beside love and secure.



If the gf likes you losing your temper

That’s pathetic because she would purposely make you angry

Just to prove that you care for her,

That you still remember you have a gf.

She is doing something to savor her feeling, maybe just the wrong way.

If she don’t even do anything when she feels that way,

You ought to be worry.



If the gf needs to threatened you with a 3rd party

To let you notice other people are paying attention on her,

Maybe both of you are not ready.

If 1 day, your gf is feeling bad about something and she is not sharing it with you,

If 1 day, she don't question you when she have doubts about you,

If 1 day, she don't even feels angry over anything you did,

Then its time.



Relationship needs a lot of time to nurture. Human only likes to enjoy the advantage of being in a relationship but they forgot nothing have only advantages. When they faces the disadvantages, they would complain and think is their partner’s fault. 1 hand claps no sound people! Who is at wrong, does that matter? What matters is the relationship, which consist of 2 person. 1 + 1 = 1, is it right? If wrong, MAKE IT RIGHT!

Defensive Mode

There are some people in this world, once they open their mouth to have a conversation, regardless of whether the intention is good or bad, they immediately turned the opponents’ defensive mode on. So whatever is said, whether it is an advice or for pure sharing purpose, people normally would not accept and they would think you are acting-clever.

But situation like this would not occur all the time. Some people that are eager to hear what others are willing to share. They are willing to put down their pride, admit to the mistake and listen to what others have to say. And in most of this case, they are willing to share more, get more, and buy the idea of another person.

In this 2 statements shows 2 different subject’s characteristic. But this 2 different characteristic are actually as of the same person. The only thing that is different is the person who is doing the talking.

We often put the blame on the subject when things like this happened. We said, that person is too ego to learn, or he/she is too stubborn, would not listen to what the elder said.

In fact I think, a good speaker normally put somebody in a comfortable mode, instead of defensive mode, Many people especially superior often meant good, but being perceived bad. Why? Some people have the ability to make you talk a lot about yourself even though you just knew them. If you think back, they are certain people that you did not know them very well, but you are willing to share with them things in depth about you that you would not even share to a person whom you know for 5 or 10 years.

And If the subject is not willing to talk more about themselves, and you are trying to help, how would you know what actually had happened that causes the subject to act so? The worse case is, the subject would just lazily agree with whatever that is being said, but the heart would be thinking, “what is this bullshit? You don’t even know what actually happened, and you think you are very clever, trying to give me advice? Get off~”

So, put someone in a comfortable position to speak what is of mind. You need to be open minded enough to accept whatever is being said. Don’t give over response because people are scared being perceived as abnormal.

Regardless of what way you use, the question is, when you speak,

how do you make people accept your idea?

THAT, is the final goal.

update

wuhooo¬¬ today I ain't feeling good....My beautiful dream slowly crashes.. Human are really unsatisfiable... when you have this, you want that..

I said I wanna lead a simple life.
I said I wanna be contented of what I have now...
and yet!
YET!
I look to the higher stream,
I chase over luxurious life,
I spend money like shit,
and then I realized
my money slowly runs down
and then I realized
I earn not enough
and THEN I realized
where is my simple life?
is it possible?
Can I stay focus and go for what I wanted,
stop changing?
I thought human don't like changes, why not the same for this?
*This month, I have 3 contracts on me + I just went to Bali, so Im kind of fuckup my bank account suddenly less many k suddenly... SHIT!