Short weekend

Working life is so boring. Now at bp, people keep telling me, WOW, so nice u only have to work 5 days a week. But I did not felt anything anything. Coz it has been like that all while, for me.

Maybe I really have to learn how to appreciate EVERYTHING.

Fri night went to Penthouse with a friend. Then we tapao-ed the very nice imported beer and went to Dreamworld until late night.
Sat morning i went to tint my glass, that cost me RM1300 with carpet installed!!!! @@ I so run out of money. Don't know how, or if i will survive. Hope my credit card bill come later this month, haih. Oh yea...my new car!



Then at night went to mee pub. I was very fun, can fight with KL's club. Until 4 something.

And today, I forgot that I have a movie to catch with my friend. Rush there and got in just in time. It was a good movie but I don't like to watch movie so stress and scary. But overall Sanctum is a nice show, i watched it in 3d.

Later I went yumcha with 2 rounds, reach home 11 sth, and now its 12!!!

Life is good. :) Very good indeed.

When you have made up your mind. Its past, so I shall accept it and let it past. Let it go when you have tried your best. There will be no regrets. Somemore he really isn't a good guy~ at least this thought have been consistent all the while.

So decision is made. I shall go on with my new life.

Thank you for all the support my friends gave me. Especially a few person that keeps calling me, Alex, Hungene, Manjit, Yeong Hann, Wendy, my brothers, Dicky, the family. Thanks for always ever ready to be there.

Cry

Cry until sleep, wake up continue crying...

I don't even dare to go downstairs to face my family. My mum came to my room just now. I was on call talking. I knew she saw my eyes, red and bulky... but she didn't say anything. I feel really glad that she pretend nothing happen. She just ask me to help out in the kitchen when I am okay~ and ask me to get something to eat. I have not taken any food till now.. but i don't feel anything. Maybe pain is the only feeling I can feel right now, and that feeling makes me feel I am still alive.

I can't stop crying...

Why am I still alive?

Friends say I am turning circle in the same place. Refuse to walk out. I don't know how to walk out of the circle.

I wanted to end my life...

Love is not about 'its your fault' but 'Im sorry'
Not 'where are you' but 'Im right here'
Not 'how could you' but 'I understand'
Not 'I wish you were' but 'Im thankful you are'

Fall in love but not stumble,
be consistent but not too persistent
share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand
and get hurt but never keep the pain

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else,
but its more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love.
Only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be
and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it
if he is not worth it not, he is not going to be worth it a year or 10 years later.
Let go.

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expected it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

Love isn't about becoming someone else "perfect person"
Its about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

June 03

Last year June 03, I was proudly in love. Thought this is it, thought finally. Since the beginning of this January, every hope shattered. God knows how ache my heart is. I don't know how I survived until now and how long will I still survive with this. How stupid I feel for giving up everything for this unworthy man. Who doesn't know how to appreciate, and only knows how to criticize. Who doesn't care for me physically and mentally. Who is so fucking selfish and irresponsible. Today is valentines day. Another occasion, celebrated alone. If last year was a bad year, make this year a good one.

I hope I can go through this. If not, bless me. No matter where I ended up to be.

Worst

I always think of the worst situation, and imagine it to happen before it ACTUALLY happens. In the end I got myself so scared of the worst and got myself so depress. Didn't everything just turn out to be smooth? Who can correct my mindset when I start thinking about the worse?

I hate this habit of mine. It is already over for "prepare for the worst". The worst always haunts me until things happened to be smooth/bad.

Haven't I have enough prove?

I really need to improve this.

Very tough...

I am really learning how to accept it. He wanted to break up with me. I am trying to say it to my family and friends, so that I will be able to go through faster...I can't make myself to.

I can't stop crying..I am not okay~

What can I do to end this?

Somebody pls teach me....

I am afraid, so afraid of doing anything might caused him more frustrated...