The Latter path

Two roads diverge in a yellow woods...I always choose the latter path..
Is it because I am stubborn? Or I believe...so strong?

I had fun, I enjoyed, but I am still missing him. I did everything to stop him from contacting me again, knowing that will be good for me. Always, I am regret for what I had done. I cut my hair short to remind myself, what is done can't be undone, regardless of you are happy with it or not..

So I tell myself its no big deal. Life goes on and soon, I will find someone better... but its been 2 months, why am I still anticipating his return that I have delayed so much.

I still firmly believed that he will return. And I hope when he does, I am not the same anymore. Perhaps god is playing us. I know when he return it will be too late. Time is not right.

I am fine.

At the same point

I know I am still circling at the same point, refuse to go out of it. I still cry every night, asking why, why all these have to happen to me??

Sigh

What is wrong with me? Can somebody tell me? Why its just me? again and again...

I didn't believe he can be this cruel...at some moment when I am really depress, I really felt like dying right in front of him... But frankly, I am scared that he would not even care at all.

You know, at times of so so down time, when he and I are so messed up, perhaps this is the time that we really evaluate the other, after seeing that person's ups and down...whether or not we can still accept each other or we condemn and judge each other through the last thing did.