depress

I couldn't sleep even though im so tired. I feel like depress la...

these 2 days i feel so pressure. So many ppl have different expectation towards me. Whatever decision I make, I am going to disappoint alot of people. The last people that I wanted to disappoint, is my family. Can they give me more support emotionally?

Why can't I have more proper time to talk with my family regarding my future. There are so many questions in my head, that I didn't know who I can refer to.

There are so many uncertainties. I hate it. I know I am pressuring myself so much now. Because boat reach shore will straight. But, I don't want it to reach shore still straight can? What if it won't be straight? Yes, I am so pessimist.

At first I told my bf to have a part time job. Because he only study on Thursday. So is very waste of time to sleep at home for 6 days and just study for 1 day. I suggest him to get a marketing or admin related job so that he gain some working experience. At first he wanted to work at some hotel as waiter, I tell him to better not. So he nicely get a Marketing job now. And he now said he probably will not want to go Spore anymore because he love his job here.

That means if I go to work in Spore I will be all alone. And we will be in long distance rship. I just hate being in long distance relationship. Which to me it almost means that the relationship will end. I know I can start a new relationship, but I love my bf and I hate to start all over again.

I just want to chase my dream............all my friends are supporting me, I know. But the most important support is from family.

I feel so so sad over it. I know there are alot of chores to do at home. I know!

F**K

I am an accountant-to-be okay? to me, wasting time is wasting the most precious resources a human had! Much more value-able than $$$$ becoz NOTHING can buy time! I can't make myself to say I am 23 years old this year! WTF, and I am still wasting time!!!! WITH NO WORKING EXPERIENCE.

My current GOAL

Get a CIMA related job, preferably budgeting/costing related job. Get 2 years working experience either in KL or Singapore.

Complete CIMA in 2 years (part time).

Get a job in Singapore. And climb the ladder.

IMpression

Impression gives people an image of your identity. It makes people expect what is your next move in almost-the-same situation. Even though perhaps you will not do the same like what people expect you to, but first impression already won over you a chance to START. From there only you gain an opportunity to fill in the blank, correct your impression either being better or being worse, forming an image.

If you successfully won a good first impression, many things even you had done wrong, people will creatively think of a good reason/excuse for things to settle with it. 1 time, 2 times, 3 times, 4 times, you are given more chance/longer time to form a bad impression.

My friend once said, last impression is how a person remembers you.

I think I always give a very good first impression but a bad last impression. That maybe explain why people so often come and go in my life.

1st post in 2010

Out of a sudden, I click in my blog. I realized there is no 2010 template on the right hand side. Which means I had not posted any post ever since 2010. Lets see. NOw is 13 of January. I forgot when is my last post.

I read through my blog again. I will be back to blogging....I miss blogging far too much. And I am regret. I gonna spend time here, this is what I promised to myself. Get back here later.

Btw, I wonder if any people are still following this blog...haha